I want to be a writer

January 31, 2010

Really I do.  I want to be cleaver and witty.  I want to write stuff that people will want to read.  So I tried to make myself a writer.  I started blogging daily when I was out of school and out of work, I wanted to create discipline in my life.  I would write 500 words every other day.  And I hoped that writing funny, personal little things would convince me that I could write long and scary things… like dissertations.  It didn’t work.  Writing still seems like a chore.  I was sitting here at work with literally nothing to do for hours before I said to myself, I guess I’ll go write something. 

For me, writing is laborious. I have little to say and I always feel like I’m saying it badly.  And today I am even less inspired to go back to school and all the writing that entails.  And I have thought about writing a theatrical adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Under the Greenwood Tree” for like 3 years, just as something interesting to try.  Well guess what just opened in London? (not that I was going to get a London opening… it’s just the principle.)

I did one of my lectures in my Teaching seminar on emotions and I did an activity to illustrate that making yourself smile actually make you feel happier.  And CS Lewis says that doing good things will make you into a better person.  Dr. Wagner (my major professor) said “it’s not that you are a bad writer, you just need to work at it more.”

I’m working on it… less now that I had been.  But it’s the kind of person that I want to be. So please bear with me while I try.  I have a feeling I won’t ever be Steinbeck, but I just want to be Erin.  Whether that includes dissertations, 500 words or 200.

And I believe that actions can change your attitudes… eventually.

More is on the way.

Not so Fantastick

June 5, 2008

So I was not selected to direct the first show of the TLT season. I spent five or six hours working on my proposal but it all comes down to “not enough experience” Wow that’s familiar. How do you get experience if no one will hire you? The message I got was that they enjoyed reading my proposal but were going with someone with more experience. We’ll have to see who that is, and how they do. Experience certainly doesn’t make you easier to get along with, that’s for sure. So… they told me that I should AD a show this season and participate in the upcoming director’s workshops. I expect to have to be proactive on that point too. Maybe I’m just feeling bitter. But I’ll hold them accountable. I wish they had interviewed me. Oh yeah, and I didn’t go to the Guys and Dolls audition, so that is bumming me out too.

So here are some of my extra great ideas that TLT missed out on.

  • using a ladder as the tree
  • letting women play the fathers
  • burlap and rope everywhere
  • modern costuming
  • no hats
  • conductor onstage
  • fancy trap door box
  • Oh… and a swing… I mean how great would it be to have a swing onstage. You really missed out on that one. Come on… a swing!

So we’ll see if I have enough experience next year, if I’m still in Tallahassee that is. Oh and there is also supposed to be a new works festival so maybe I’ll crack out some pages for “Under the Greenwood Tree.”