So I had this great idea that I’d blog about all the cool/ interesting things that happen to me on Sundays. But I didn’t really follow through and now things are a bit fuzzy as they tend to get over time. I’m going to catch us all up in the next few days and see where we go from there.

The week after Easter was Confirmation Sunday. Did I tell you what I great trip the Confirmation Retreat was? We did the labyrinth and we got to hang out with the girls from Gray Memorial UMC that we car pooled with. And I got to pray for Lydia. Maybe I did tell you. I didn’t go back to look. This was a great class. I did my standard cards for confirmation Sunday and I got to announce their names and to walk them up the aisle after the service. We did not have the regular reception; we had the fundraising lunch for the Nicaragua mission trip. I was not going to go because I was feeling poor and fundraisers are expensive and they were having roasted chicken with bell peppers, yellow rice and coconut cake. But I got an invite from one of the families of the confirmands. So I took them up on the free lunch and a chance to hang out.

After the service we all took pictures in the sanctuary and then we went to over to lunch. By the time we got there, being last, nearly the whole place was filled up and they had not saved enough seats in the reserved section. Joyce found a spare chair all the families sat together but one who had to be moved to some opens spots at a far table. Just because it’s my kind of luck they ended up with one whole empty table and the rest full. They offered me a place there. This was a bit (well a lot) upsetting to me because it just throw me into seventh grade flash backs and feeling stupid because I didn’t even want their pepper chicken anyway. So I went over to find Joyce and see if there was going to be any programming and stay for that then hit the road to Quincy for Tech Week of Sound of Music.

She of course said, “Aren’t you going to eat something? Oh there’s no place to sit.” Well that was it. There, in front of God and my whole church family, I lost it. I’m so private with my feelings, maybe even to an unhealthy level, in fact it’s bugging me a little to write this. But there I was bawling right in the middle of the fellowship hall. Jill (our children’s ministry director) grabbed my hand and we walked over to her office where I could gain some control. I think it was just a wave of overwhelmed-ness and stress and happiness and loneliness and a stupid circumstance. They ended up fitting me in at a table and the chicken was not all that bad. And Joyce told me not to feel bad because she was crying during the benediction and when we where all walking out.

Read Part 1: Easter Sunday

Like I told the Facebook world, I spent most of the day crying on Easter. It was obviously a very emotional day. First think I was up at 6:00 to sing at the sunrise service and that’s enough to make anyone cry (well me.) It was bit chilly but not like it was last year. Singing went fine, we did this kind of old fashioned-y “Easter Anthem.” No, that’s really what it was called, creative right? Joyce preached the sermon for the morning service, and it was great. I think she’s getting to be a really great preacher. I love that she always uses personal stories, it’s really brave and vulnerable, and it really makes the message seem sincere.  She was discribing a scene from a movie to illustrate a point. 

There was little boy in a consentration camp that got assinged to cleaning the commander’s bathroom. One day he stole a used bar of soap and brought it back to his teenaged friend to show it off.   The theft was soon discovered and everyone was called together to be questioned.  Just as the boy was holding his hand out with the soap, his friend snachted it away and yelled out that he had the soap.  He was shot on the spot.

Wow… that got me.  There is just something about sacrificial love.  Someone else taking the blame.  It’s real easy to say “Jesus died for our sin.”  But it’s good to feel it sometimes.

We had bruch of Sam’s pastries and frozen fruit, not quite the Easter spread we get in Pensacola.  But when Cynthia sat on one of the said pastries that almost made up for it.  That kind of made me cry too, with laughter.

For 8:30 service we were in the sactuary.  The theme for Clarke’s sermon was transformation, and we used butterflies to decorate the window sills and we brought in potted plants to the narthex.  During the service we added butterfly garden stakes to the plants… you know like the tranformation had just taken place.  It was very pretty and colorful, but a little less impactful than it could have been because our narthex is a bit cluttered (my hospitality workshop told me that’s not a very welcoming thing.)    That work great for 8:30 but the service was so long that the 9:45 people were already waiting and saw them before the other service let out.

The thing during 8:30 that made me cry was the lady that was sitting next to me in the pew.  We had a bunch of kids, of course, and they were all being cute during the children’s sermon.  But the whole time the lady who was maybe in her late fourties was holding her husband’s hand and weeping.  I don’t know anything more than that, what happened, if she had a loss.  She was just sitting there in pain.  Besides my empathy for her, I just thought about all the other people who feel pain and regret during happy times.

Then I had to teach Sunday School, which was maybe a little too creative.  I took the kids to the 9:45 service to remove the butterflies from the plants, and to watch my friends play in the pickup band that was playing that day.  Then we had our lesson outside, which was a bit challenging and distracting for my little people.  Then we went back to play Easter symbol memory, which is always the biggest hit ever.  They love it.  Cokesbury must be up on their developmentally appropriate materials (I think I want that job) because they always include at least three memory card sets for each unit.

Then I had my Easter Whataburger meal and had a laundry and movie day.  That night was the Tallahassee episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  Which was just sad in the classic, human interest story way.  You can watch it for yourself.  But that was so sad.

I told my Sunday Schoolers that Easter is the happiest day of the year.  For me it was little crazy too.

Apparently I care

November 16, 2008

We were talking about war and peace in or series on “Virtue in Public Life” in Everyothers tonight.   The series is based on some of the social principles of the United Methodist Church.  The Book of Discipline is annoyingly wishy-washy on the issue. We got on this track of talking about how certain wars are justifiable.  I had to civilly disagree.  So I started talking about what Jesus says about loving your enemies and self sacrifice.  I didn’t feel it, but people told me that I looked like I was going to cry.  See, my head cares about a lot of things that don’t necessarily inspire me with passion and feeling.  But some times I surprise myself.  I guess my heart cares too.

Sunday Quotation: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:27-31, NIV

Hey Jealousy

June 28, 2008

I saw two things today… right in a row that put together made me cry. I know this is vague, but you never know, right? So now that I just finished watching “The Notebook” that makes two cries in one day. That’s a record for me in the past… well since I was teething. And my emotional accessibility is just a whole other post for some other self-centered day.

So here is what happened… I overheard someone offering someone something that I want (bad I know but we’ll leave it at that since its all about me and not about them.) Then like 30 seconds later in the next room I overheard a different someone actually giving someone else something that was offered to me. And these two incidents made me cry… not full-out sobbing but that seething, woe-is-me couple of tears.

Jealous tears… not cute. And then I got mad at myself because the reason for incident 2 was likely the fact that I didn’t return a call. And I’m still mad at my sense of entitlement. “Why didn’t they think of me?” I wish for my self more initiative and assertiveness. I want to cry over things I try instead of things I miss out on.