The Robo-calls end today

November 4, 2008

And thanks for that.  There’s been entirely to much money spent on this campaign, local and presidential.  I heard that the candidates will have spent 10 dollars per vote.  More than double the amount of money was raised than in the last election.  I also heard that the Obama-murcial was done because the campaign could not spend all it’s money. So much waste.  How about feeding a hungry child with that 25 dollars next time.  This is getting ridiculous.

Pieces of her story

October 18, 2008

I had two errands today.  To go get some jalapenos and to mail a few things that I didn’t put out in time for the mail carrier to come get.  I planned to drive through Sonic after the post office for a vanilla coke with a side of jalapenos (homemade salsa is addictive.)

So I got to the post office a couple minutes after it closed and had to go through that drive through too.  That of course meant that that I missed the last pickup too so my mail run was for naught.  But there was this woman standing on the curb by the post office exit. She’d been standing there the whole time I was in the parking lot and had a carry-on size piece of luggage.

I pulled up to turn on to the street and she looked at me and held up the sign she had in here hand.  It was written on ballpoint on a sheet of loose leaf.  The wind was strong enough that the paper was flapping so that the only thing that I could read was “for food.”  It’s getting cooler but I’m still wearing shorts and she had on a winter coat.  She looked like she could be someones grandma.

So I decided I’d go to CVS instead of Sonic and pick-up some trail mix for her along with my jalapenos.  When I pulled back around she was gone from the post office.  And then I looked around and she was sitting on the window sill at the convenience store next door, with her coat on her bag, smoking a cigarette. I didn’t stop.

Thing is, I don’t know what she really needs, or what the right thing is to do. Maybe I’ll hold on to the cranberry trail mix so I’ll have a better plan next time.  And I don’t mean that “dang, I was dooped and now I’m stuck with the cranberries.”  But she is a person, with a life, and a family, and a story and obviously a difficult one at that.  And I can’t do anything that will make a real difference, or not be patronizing.  Or maybe it is that I’m unwilling to.  All I have is the fragments that I gleaned from observation of this women, nothing that tells me anything about who she really is.

—————-

Stephanie had the youth do an exercise a few weeks ago.  They all started by making bags to give to the homeless with a granola bar and a Vienna sausage and an apple sauce.  They then had a scavenger hunt to look for their dinner.  Everywhere they went they were turned away until they found the homeless bags that they had made waiting for them in the sanctuary.  And man did they not like that twist.  Apparently not everyone like Vienna sausages like I do.  But it’s obviously no grand gesture to give away the food you’re not willing to eat.  It humbles you a little, and makes you think about person-hood apart from status and possessions.  So even though I got to be the one denying my spaghetti to the youth, I think I learned a lesson too.  Because today I felt a little something extra. And it wasn’t good.  I think that’s called empathy. And praise God for that.

She’s so nice

October 4, 2008

I’ve always thought of myself as a nice person.  But I have subjected myself to some introspection recently and I have cast some doubt.  Now I am fairly sure that I do plenty of acts of kindness, so that maybe enough in the truest sense but I’m talking here about people’s perceptions.  See I’m quite shy so I mainly have two ways that I relate to people.  One in a socially awkward, quiet…”shy” kind of way and the other is with confidence and even aggression maybe?  See I’m also a performer.  It makes for a weird mix.  I have no problems with public speaking or leading a group, but put me in a cocktail party and I’m like a different person.  But I think ultimately both of those ways are pretty cold.

When I was in tenth grade, my English teacher told me that I ought to smile more on the first day of class.  Like from the front of the room, in the presents of all my classmates.  It was harsh.  Hear that teachers?  Don’t do that.  I do find myself scowling occasionally when I’m thinking but I don’t mean to.

In college one of my best friends told me that one of her friends who had become a mutual acquaintance found me intimidating.  That’s really the first time I thought about that I could intimidate anyone (well except maybe a second grader.)    And speaking of that, I don’t have that “kids-want-to-sit-on-my-lap” thing anymore.  My VBS kids loved my high school co-teacher, but not me so much.  And when I’ve worked wit the youth they just don’t think I’m as cool as some of the other helpers.

And I even got in trouble when I was working on “Once on this Island” for being too mean to the cast.  I told them in notes one night that I was going to come hit them if they did not stay quiet backstage.  Of course I was joking, I mean that’s not a hard one to figure out.  But on the other hand I was basicly left to be the long arm of the law, with the director whinning about behavior but not setting any standards or doing things like start rehearsals late.  But the one good thing that came of that was I may not have made any best friends, I came out the end with everyone still respecting me (something the other staff couldn’t say.)  The good word from that whole fiasco (the show was great somehow, I mean the offstage drama) traveled far and wide I’m sure and it makes me wonder if that’s some of the reason that I’m having issues with the directors selection commitee and the excutive director.  One would hope that they’d give me a chance to tell my side of things.

So I guess that’s it; I’m not a warm and fuzzy person. I’m not so nice.  But I try to be good…sincere, friendly, loyal, loving. And I try to think about smiling more.  That’ll have to be enough.

Meta Monday: Blog Power

September 29, 2008

Tyson is sending food to San Fransisco food banks based on the number of comments received on this post.