I want to be a writer

January 31, 2010

Really I do.  I want to be cleaver and witty.  I want to write stuff that people will want to read.  So I tried to make myself a writer.  I started blogging daily when I was out of school and out of work, I wanted to create discipline in my life.  I would write 500 words every other day.  And I hoped that writing funny, personal little things would convince me that I could write long and scary things… like dissertations.  It didn’t work.  Writing still seems like a chore.  I was sitting here at work with literally nothing to do for hours before I said to myself, I guess I’ll go write something. 

For me, writing is laborious. I have little to say and I always feel like I’m saying it badly.  And today I am even less inspired to go back to school and all the writing that entails.  And I have thought about writing a theatrical adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Under the Greenwood Tree” for like 3 years, just as something interesting to try.  Well guess what just opened in London? (not that I was going to get a London opening… it’s just the principle.)

I did one of my lectures in my Teaching seminar on emotions and I did an activity to illustrate that making yourself smile actually make you feel happier.  And CS Lewis says that doing good things will make you into a better person.  Dr. Wagner (my major professor) said “it’s not that you are a bad writer, you just need to work at it more.”

I’m working on it… less now that I had been.  But it’s the kind of person that I want to be. So please bear with me while I try.  I have a feeling I won’t ever be Steinbeck, but I just want to be Erin.  Whether that includes dissertations, 500 words or 200.

And I believe that actions can change your attitudes… eventually.

More is on the way.

Advertisements

One Response to “I want to be a writer”

  1. Hank Says:

    Just Erin is fine, you are a unique and special young woman. You will find your place in this world, I am so proud of you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s