I’m here to offer the help that’s slightly better than no help at all.

October 5, 2008

I think that it was the perfect storm of church jobs today.  And happy World Communion Sunday to you too.

We were singing in honor of the day, a fun African piece.  But that also meant that we had to be there to rehearse at 7:45.  My helping began when Laurel brought her grandchildren in, a four year old and a two year.  She is like 98 pounds and was trying to lift them both up on to her hip. But the little one kept sliding of.  So I when to give her a boost and she burst into tears when I put my arms out to her. Ouch, burned by the two year old.

After we were done practicing Sally asked us to help move the left over garage sale junk off the parking lot.  So there I am in my insensibly high heels and a-line skirt, carting nineteen fifties vacuums and knitting kits, and humidifiers across the lot.  We sang for the call to worship then I left to set up for Sunday School.  There was plenty of time left so I got to make copies and cut out shields for the coat-of-arms craft.  But I left my curriculum at home so I had to wing it a little.  By the way it is very confusing to a second grader that Abraham was once named Abrahm and that Abraham was not named after Abraham Lincoln.  They even asked “what does Abraham mean?” Well luck has it the Bible tells us that it means “the father of many.”  My favorite thing… we were putting pictures of ancient buildings on the map and I told them that the first one was a Ziggarat.  The next one was these domed buildings…Amanda says, “oh, it’s an Egg-arat.”

Had to leave early to sing again.  Then I got asked to be a “pew buddy” by our childrens’ director. There’s no childrens’ Sunday School during the eleven o’clock hour so the kids whose parents go to the contemporary service and then 11 adult class, go to the regular Sunday School and then sit with volunteers during the 11 service before childrens’ church (wow that’s a mess.)  We didn’t have many takers today but Grace came to sit with us and she was having some nose running issues, but I didn’t have any tissues or anything, I felt so inadequate.

Before the service started Sally asked if I’d do part of the “presenting of the breads” which involved reading a paragraph… mine was about sun-dried tomato bread.  I think I only stumbled on a few words sheesh. I think I told God to remember that there was waring in the middle east.  Um I think God’s all over that, we’re the ones that need to remember.  We got to the communion part of the World Communion Sunday and we were singing the opening song and Clarke and Sally were looking distressed.  The sent out one of the acolytes to get me to help serve communion.  I think that at the 8:30 service they had a retired minister helping but he must have bailed.

The highlights… Me trying to grab the bread dish, Clarke “I’m serving you.” Oh yeah…  Me being the last one done every time because the line is “The blood of Christ shed for you.” and saying that to everyone takes longer than the minister version that is many more sentences and covers the time it take to serve three or four people. This must be why they need a master’s degree… My designated acolyte tripping and spilling a whole tray of juice on the floor and her white gown…  Me running out of juice cups with one person left, making me take even longer, and generally interrupting the reverent service with my inability to count… Oh yes and remember the high heels…ouch, and we are all glad I went with my crew neck black shirt instead of the v-neck if you know what I mean….And we don’t have hymns going on so you just feel everyone watching your communion incompetence.  I obviously needed the training session.

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