Hey Jealousy

June 28, 2008

I saw two things today… right in a row that put together made me cry. I know this is vague, but you never know, right? So now that I just finished watching “The Notebook” that makes two cries in one day. That’s a record for me in the past… well since I was teething. And my emotional accessibility is just a whole other post for some other self-centered day.

So here is what happened… I overheard someone offering someone something that I want (bad I know but we’ll leave it at that since its all about me and not about them.) Then like 30 seconds later in the next room I overheard a different someone actually giving someone else something that was offered to me. And these two incidents made me cry… not full-out sobbing but that seething, woe-is-me couple of tears.

Jealous tears… not cute. And then I got mad at myself because the reason for incident 2 was likely the fact that I didn’t return a call. And I’m still mad at my sense of entitlement. “Why didn’t they think of me?” I wish for my self more initiative and assertiveness. I want to cry over things I try instead of things I miss out on.

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