• I have another new job… well a seventeen month old new job
• My sister and I went on a road trip
• and we went to Epcot Food and Wine
• and I went to visit her again at her new house
• I barely did any theater
• I took a seminary class
• I preached one of the last nights of our departed Evening Vespers service
• I had minor surgery
• that let me gain back most of the weight
• Ryan Bradley won the US Championship
• Many hours of “So You Think You Can Dance” were watched
• More youth got confirmed
• I agreed to help with Youth Sunday School
• so I am going regularly to the contemporary service at church
• I cut my hair short
• I cried my eyes out too many times
• I took a 12 week Biblical Greek class
• I put up a half done online dating profile… then took it down
• I applied for about 20 jobs… got one phone interview and no jobs
• I finally turned some acquaintances into real friends
• Visited Lakeland to go to FTC see old friends, waive at FSC, and see my beloved drama teacher get a distinguished career award
• I got lots of books
• I nominated myself to be a delegate to General Conference and did not win the vote
• I saw the first national tour of the Hair revival
• I spent holidays at home
• I picked up a bad YouTube watching habit
• I got asked to speak at next year’s Women’s Retreat
• I rode lots of roller coasters
• I went to the PCC reunion
• I went to my ten year HS reunion
• I help organize an emergency cold weather shelter for homeless people
• I got a new car
• I had a Seder meal at my house
• and more… can’t decide if that’s a lot or a little

He was praying in a certain place, and after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And do not bring us to the time of trial.” And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’ And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.” So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

_______________________________

Audio MP3: saintpaulsumc.org

My dad worked as a manager at Kmart until I was in middle school.  There is a sweet story that my family tells about a time when my mom took me to see him at the store.  They were having a family festival and were giving out balloons.  My favorite color was brown when I was in preschool, so I’m sure that I had to settle for a red one.  Well sometime after leaving the store and saying goodbye to my dad, my balloon popped.  I’m sure the tears flowed.  Well my mom called my dad at work and asked him to bring home a new balloon for me.  When my dad came home, I saw the balloon in his hand (a red one of course).  I ran up to him and exclaimed, “Daddy, you fixed it!”  To me, he just knew what I needed and he took care of it without me even asking.  I think that God does that for use more times than we can count.  But today’s lesson is about how we ask our heavenly father.

First lets put these verses in context.  You will notice that the prayer here is not exactly the Lord’s Prayer that we use in service.  That is closer to the version that we find in Matthew as part of the Sermon on the Mount.   Here in Luke Jesus, says the prayer as a response to a request at a different time. Scholars are mixed as to what time Jesus gave us this prayer, or maybe he repeated himself for emphasis.

The disciple starts by asking Jesus to teach them to pray, but not just to pray, to pray in the way that John’s disciples did.  Earlier in Luke 5:33 we learned that the John the Baptist’s disciples spent a lot of time fasting and praying.  And the Pharisees wanted to know why Jesus’s disciples weren’t more like that, instead of out carousing with tax collectors and sinners.  Jesus of course has a quick rejoinder for that.  But it sounds to me like they got to this disciple a little bit.  “Those people down the street have a prayer, I want a prayer.”  But Jesus obliges and gives us this simple prayer that we still use today.

We have studied the Lord’s pray here in worship not too long ago.  In fact if you want to go and listen, the whole series is available online in the audio sermon archives in September and October of 2008.  So instead of looking at the specifics of the prayer, I think it is a great opportunity to consider why and how we pray.  And what it tells us about the nature of God.

First I think that we are pointed to the parent/child relationship that we are supposed to have with God.  The prayer is addressed to “Father.”  The word that Jesus would have used in his native language, Aramaic was Abba.  It is a word that first appears in Aramaic, but is thought to have arrived from the ancient Hebrew ABEE or AVEE that means father, but more formally, and it was later adopted by Greek speaking Christians as the correct way to address God in prayer.  Some scholars think that Abba was a mispronunciation of these Hebrew words in a way an infant might say them, before they can fully form words.  So you might have heard that Abba means Daddy, but it is more like Dada.  That image of an infant so powerfully illustrates the dependence that we supposed to have on our heavenly Father.  It’s also used as a term of endearment, when every I’ve heard teenage girls use those cute terms for their dads, you know they’re some request not far to follow.

After teaching them the prayer Jesus went on to tell them a parable.  “Imagine this… You get a surprise visitor, and you have nothing to feed them.  So you go to your next-door neighbor even though it’s midnight and ask for some bread.  He starts out by saying ‘no.  It’s late the kids are in bed, leave me alone.’  But then he eventually relents.”  The Bible says that it’s because of the asker’s persistence, not just good will among friends.  Did you know that we are supposed to bug God with our prayers?  If we pray without ceasing like it says in First Thessalonians that will give God a lot to listen to.

I think there are some other reasons the friend ends up getting the bread too.  Showing hospitality was a big deal in Jesus’s time.  And Jesus’s listeners would have understood the social obligation that the man was under to provide for his friend’s guest.  Grudging it or not.  The way you treated people would reflect back on your village or town.  So your there would be consequences if you did not do what was honorable.   That level of expectation almost provided a guarantee of satisfaction.  And because God is honorable too, we have an assurance that our prayers will be heard.  He will keep his promises and provide for what we need.  We ask with a level of expectancy, we know God is trustworthy.

I’ve been working as the House Manager for the musical at the Little Theatre for the last two weekends, and part of that I’ve been training people to sell the raffle tickets that we have.  I tell my trainees that if they ask most of the people will buy a ticket, it’s just a dollar after all.  It’s not a scary thing to do because we don’t get a lot of rejection.  We expect them to buy.  All we have to do is ask.

So actually on the most basic level, our hero gets some bread because he asked for it.  His friend didn’t do daily bread deliveries and he wasn’t waiting around for the bread fairy.  He wasn’t just hoping something would fix the problem; he had to make the first move.  It’s something we are reluctant to do even in the little things.  My friend was telling me how excited he was when at his new house the kids from next door came over asking for a cup of sugar.  “It’s like we’re living in the fifties.”

When I was little and in the midst of a temper tantrum, or maybe just sobs, my parents would tell me to “Use your words. We can’t help you if we don’t know what is going wrong.”  God created human beings for language.  The babbles that babies make are composed of the basic sounds of language called phonemes.  Every baby babbles with all possible the phonemes naturally.  Then as they are exposed to their native language and learn to speak in words, the phonemes that are not used are dropped from the baby’s vocabulary.  Language and communication are innate and essential for us to form and grow relationships.  If you tell me whom you talk to most I can likely tell you whom your best friends are.  So why is it a surprise that God asks us to “use our words?”

But here we come to a limit of this analogy. See, God does not need us to tell him what to do. Martin Luther says “Of course, God’s name is holy in and of itself; Truly God’s Kingdom comes by itself, without our prayer; Truly, God’s good and gracious will is accomplished without our prayer.”  So I think that prayer is a gift for us.  It uses our very human stuff, language, to change who we are in our soul.

People of prayer have a focus that is bigger than their immediate surroundings and needs.  People of prayer give of their time and energy to something greater than themselves.  And that’s something that’s very against our natural inclination.

That’s not to say that we can’t make prayer into an exercise in wish list making.  And our good intentioned prayers and lists of prayer concerns, can come off as better addressed to Santa than to God.  Bishop Will Willamon says “Prayer is not whenever I spill my guts to God: prayer is when I obey Jesus and pray for the things that he teaches me to pray for and when I pray the way he prays. Prayer is bending my feelings, my desires, my thoughts and yearnings toward Jesus and what he wants me to feel, desire and think.”   See Jesus’s prayer changes our attitude from “my will be done” to “thy will be done.”

Let me back up on that a little.  I believe that God wants to be near you, to share all your hurts and joys.  My little brother was in an awful car accident just the other day, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the pictures of his mangled car.  I earnestly prayed that he was all right, until I took a breath and realized that he was the one posting the pictures, and then it changed to thanksgiving.  I know that God was with my brother in the car and he was with me to share in my relief.  But he wants to be more than a sounding board for my feelings.  He wants me to pray to change who I am.

To pray like that takes practice and persistence; it’s a personal discipline.  It’s a scary thing to pray that you will be treated in the same way that you treat others; unless you are willing to change the bad things you do to people.  And we pray for God’s kingdom to come, a kingdom where the last will be first and the first will be last.  Is that what we’re really ready for?

I’ve been reading the Anne of Green Gable’s series of books.  Anne is an unusually bright and loquacious middle schooler who is adopted from an orphanage by a middle age unmarried lady and her brother named Matthew and Marilla Cuthburt.  In the first days she is at their home, Marilla asks Anne if she has been saying her prayers at night and Anne says that she doesn’t know any.  Marilla says she is old enough to speak for her self.  But she was a bit shocked when Anne’s prayer concluded “…and please let me be good-looking when I grow up. I remain, yours respectfully, Anne Shirley.” Marilla sets her off to learn the Lord’s Prayer the next day because “she’s next door to a heathen.”

I feel that way sometimes… next door to a heathen.  So I’m glad Jesus gave me a tool, something to say when I know my words aren’t going to cut it. When they are forced, or tired, or failing.  We can look to Jesus’s words to remind us what is important.

The last bit of our lesson today is a promise that God will provide what we need.  “Ask and it will be given to you”… what’s the “it?” Verse thirteen says, “How much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”  “It” is the Holy Spirit.

I can’t be a better person just by trying.  It takes God living in me, as the Spirit.  My selfishness wins unless I put him in control.  He can guide our steps, he’s a comfort when you are hurting and need someone to cry out to, and he shares your joy just like a friend.  And his nearness is what allows us to bend our will towards that of the Father. His presence with us is an answer to our prayer.

We say the Lord’s Prayer because Jesus told us to, and because it’s powerful.  But to be real for just a second, the way I do it sometimes can make it the most rote, ineffectual, inauthentic part of the service.  I have to pray with persistence because I’m an expert at sending the Holy Spirit packing.  There are a million distractions.  But when I see the error in my ways, I can come back just like the prodigal son and be greeted with care and compassion, more than any earthly parent.

So there is an invitation for you here today.  If that sounds like were you are now, lost and disconnected, you are invited back.  Or maybe you just need to practice a little persistence.  Our God is faithful to hear when we call.

And we can use the words that Jesus taught us to ask our father to send us the Holy Spirit.

Will you pray with me?

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name,
thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.  And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever.
Amen.

“Ask Your Father” by Erin K. Thompson
July 25, 2010 Saint Pauls UMC Tallahassee: Aldersgate Service 9:45am

I think that it is very me.

I brought cupcakes for the confirmands.  Prepare to be awed.  I spent so much time slaving on them.

True cupcake confession:  These are Walmart cupcakes with Veggie Tale “Peep-like” marshmallows stuck on them.  It was hard work, but anything for the kids.

Well Tamara said to me, “I never see you eat anything.”  RIGHT!  That’s me never eating anything.  Except my weight in tortilla chips.  And enough tea sandwiches to make me sick.  And more than my fair share of spinach puffs.  And that’s just when I was with Tamara.

So my weight loss/conscience eating have lead to two things (well besides the, you know, weight loss.)  One,  I spend a lot of time thinking about, planning for, dealing with, feeling guilty about, and generally obsessing over food.  I can quote calorie count to you.  It feels a little over kill.  But that’s the way it has to be.  But on the plus side, I’m saving some money.  Turns out when you need less food it costs less money.  Shocking I know.  So besides my eating small amounts when I go out I also look like a cheap skate.

But I’m ok with that.  I’m cheap… even at my fattest.  Now I’m just a bit lighter.

They are singing I’m a little teapot.

They are a fun group.  Most of them told me that the word games I brought were there favorite part.  No wonder I like them.

That’s not a stick.

I rescued him…

He’ll probably grow up to be a huge furry moth.

I have been in the market for a new craft storage solution.  I found it… for 1,200 dollars!?!

Well she called me back Saturday afternoon, and she asked me “well tell me what you have been in? what shows have you been involved in.”  I told her that Parade, the show we had been in together was the only thing that I had acted in recently, that I’d mainly focused on back stage work.

Then she said, “Well I have this part I need to fill in the show I’m directing and I think you’d be great for it.”  The show is an extended run of a QMT show that played earlier this season and I guess they had someone drop out.  It’s in four weeks… and she offered me the third lead.

Yeah… the third most important person in the show.

I was jumping on that, when would I get that chance again.  Not soon I can guarantee.  So I made plans to meet her in an hour to sing though some stuff, sure up plans, etc.  I hung up the phone, got up to go get changed, when I grabbed my calender.  Four weeks from now, as in May 7-9 Mothers Day weekend.  My hundred dollars worth of tickets for May 7 Showtime in Pensacola just arrived that day too.

I called Karla back to tell her I couldn’t do it.  “Well, next time,” she says.  Right.

So you can look forward to

• Did I melt down at confirmation this year?
• It’s director selection time!
• Crafts, crafts and more crafts
• The new job

For me, writing is laborious. I have little to say and I always feel like I’m saying it badly.  And today I am even less inspired to go back to school and all the writing that entails.  And I have thought about writing a theatrical adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Under the Greenwood Tree” for like 3 years, just as something interesting to try.  Well guess what just opened in London? (not that I was going to get a London opening… it’s just the principle.)

I did one of my lectures in my Teaching seminar on emotions and I did an activity to illustrate that making yourself smile actually make you feel happier.  And CS Lewis says that doing good things will make you into a better person.  Dr. Wagner (my major professor) said “it’s not that you are a bad writer, you just need to work at it more.”

I’m working on it… less now that I had been.  But it’s the kind of person that I want to be. So please bear with me while I try.  I have a feeling I won’t ever be Steinbeck, but I just want to be Erin.  Whether that includes dissertations, 500 words or 200.

And I believe that actions can change your attitudes… eventually.

More is on the way.

Here’s my recipe…  Trader Joe’s Pancake Mix Pumpkin Muffins.

Only 106 calories per muffin. Thanks Molly.

I guess sometimes gifts are challenging.  Like a puzzle, or a computer game, or an art set.  And sometimes those are the best gifts. It just takes some work and perseverance.

Good Stuff Eatery Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake

My own Ouidad cut, from the salon in Maryland. Still a little frizzy, probably thanks to the nonstop rain. Overall grade B.  Not the life changing experience others have had, but pretty.  And I kind of wish I’d left it a little longer.

Oh lovely... It looks like I have a comb-over. Rainy and cold. And this was the better picture.

DC landmarks made of organic materials at the Botanical Gardens.

Scary eyes, scary hair

Did you know that everything in this picture is a prehistoric plant? Well except Molly... and the sign.

Mobile Cupcakes. Just before he caught us taking the picture and ran over to talk to us. No cupcakes today thanks. My feet hurt and I ate a Disney smoke milkshake two hours ago.

Washington Monument and Joe Biden's House

Where are you Darth Vader?

More on my DC photo album.

This ornament is new this year. Love came down at Christmas and all of that. Plus it’s a Josh song.  The drop ornament to the right is volcanic glass that I bought at the museum store the first time it put everything on sale for 90 percent off.  That time it was to replace the carpet.  Last time they went out of business.

Snowflake Floating Candle, it’s sparkly.

My shelf of pencil sharpeners with my smallest nativity on top. Each one is different.  I inherited these from my great grandma, because I used to love to look at them when I was little.  And I’ve added a few of my own over the years.

My favorite nativity, each piece has a bible verse on it.  Like Mary says “my soul will Magnify the Lord.”  And Jesus says “he will called Emmanuel.”  And it’s sparkly. And I got it on Ebay so it was really a great deal.

The ornaments hanging from my chandelier are new this year.
My grandma made the pepper- mint pillow for me. So cute.

This is new too. I have grass that normally lives in the vases. But I got some coordinating sparkly purple poinsettias and a peppermint ribbon.

Reading Rainbow comes to the end of its 26-year run on Friday [August 28]; it has won more than two-dozen Emmys, and is the third longest-running children’s show in PBS history — outlasted only by Sesame Street and Mister Rogers.

———-

Grant says the funding crunch is partially to blame, but the decision to end Reading Rainbow can also be traced to a shift in the philosophy of educational television programming. The change started with the Department of Education under the Bush administration, he explains, which wanted to see a much heavier focus on the basic tools of reading — like phonics and spelling.

Grant says that PBS, CPB and the Department of Education put significant funding toward programming that would teach kids how to read — but that’s not what Reading Rainbow was trying to do.

NPR

So yeah, phonics, the thing that literally funded my graduate education in reading has killed my favorite childhood reading show. It’s a full circle moment.

My beautiful college computer: still at least 75% functional and good enough to get me onto the internet.  No word so far.

I hope you come home.

Sivada Pumpkin Cupcake, Jacksonville, Florida

I left work at 3 on Friday to get there in time for the 6:30 start time.  And I was able to spent my down time that day planning what I could do with my extra time while I was there.   I even considered getting the hotel room for 2 nights so that I could visit the young adult ministry at one of the Big Churches and go to the Fort Caroline National Memorial, but my cheapness won out and I decided that would have to wait until next time.

But here’s what I did get to do.

1.  I went to the class.  It was mediocre to bad, I am sad to say.  And I guess that’s mainly because I did not learn very much.  The content level was only slightly higher than confirmation class.  And the tone was so pessimistic, whining about how no one wants to got to worship service and no one ever listens to what the pastor says.  And things like spending at least a half hour talking about acrostics that have to do with prayer (PUSH= Pray until something happens…groan.)  On the positive side I am encouraged by the number of people seeking leadership development, and how course there are the people in general who are just the best part of the operation: the leaders and the participants, kind and generous and with great stories and testimonies.

2. I decided to skip the provided lunch so that I could go to “Cozy Tea.”  Which was a bit pricey and caused me to be late back to class, but was totally worth it. Best Scone EVER!!!

3. After class I went to the bank, because they have Compasses in Jacksonville so I was able to make a night deposit. Then I went to the Cupcakery. It is no longer called Vanilla’s even though the canopy still says that. They were apparently involved in a trademark dispute with a California company. Now it’s called Savida’s which is the chef/owner’s name “A.Davis” backwards. How Oprah of him. They have 24 different kinds of cupcakes on the menu, but when I arrived 30 minutes before closing time on Saturday, there were only 8 cupcakes in the whole store, 2 coconut and 6 pumpkin. I went with the pumpkin, which was ok by me, because I very well might have picked it any way. I a sucker for a special. I took my cupcake to a park around the corner that my GPS sent me to so I could have an al fresco moment.

4. Speaking of things that I am a sucker for… 6 months ago my mom said to me “So I see that they are carrying Martha Stewart stuff at Walmart and Macy’s, I’ll bet they are getting rid of the stuff at Kmart.” “Oh, no” say I “that’s just craft stuff at Walmart and it’s a different line at Macy’s. I was just at Kmart checking on my favorite kitchen gadgets and they are all safe and sound.”

Well fast forward to October, and I’m at Kmart buying my cell phone refill and I find the doomsday predictions have come true. All Martha Stewart items are being clearanced off. This is sad on so many levels. First there are things I need, MS Grandpa pillows are the only ones I use, my MS bath mats could really use replacing, and I want some new MS pillow cases to match my MS comforter and sheets. And that’s not even mentioning the kitchen gadgets and the green glass bakeware set that I definitely don’t need but love anyway.

Well what is to do but to go to as many Kmarts as possible. How can anyone blame me? (Btw, this is not my first Kmart odyssey. I once hit all the Kmarts on the way down to the performing arts center in Tampa and got my lovely fire pit at a bargain basement price as well as the matching sheets and shames to the clearance quilt I had. Fun times.) I got to 4 Kmarts in Jacksonville, where I got 4 of the 5 pieces to my green glass bakeware, (anyone need some pyrex?) the toilet shaped bath mat, the matching lamp to my MS “Retro Table Lamp” that was $9 marked down from $45, and some pillow cases that are not quite the right color but will work and were $4 instead of $19.  I did decide to leave behind the best cake stand, for alas I don’t bake cakes, and that sucker was big and heavy.  See, I have some self-restraint.  And with the end of Martha’s line it may be the end of my Kmart love.  Except for Christmas stuff they had their Christmas stuff up and it was still MS.

5. My last stop was to Anthropologie.  My happiness about them is a bit off kilter considering that 75 percent of the store is dedicated to clothes that would barely fit my thigh.  But I can’t help loving all their kitschy housewares.  It’s a fun place.

Google maps said that it was not a mall, so I asked it to tell me what other stores were at that address.  A list of about 6 other stores shows up, one being Swoosies.  So that’s what I’m expecting 7 stores maybe in a little shopping strip.  As I’m following my GPS directions I am noticing that it’s kind of out in the middle of nowhere. Curious… until I round the bend and see the ”Jacksonville Town Center.”  It turns out to be like a giant mall… with streets, like the one in Lakeland and the one in West Palm Beach.  Only it’s much bigger, with its own hotel.  And those 7 store were probably only the stores that shared a block.  They had a Publix, Pier One, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Cheesecake Factory, Movies, Dillard’s, Blockbuster, Pottery Barn… and on and on.  You name it they had it, including whole sections of designer boutiques.  As you might have guessed, parking was near to impossible, especially since I wanted to be somewhere near the one store I wanted to go to.  It’s a tease to have the spaces there but have them all full so you have to walk blocks and blocks. And in driving try not to hit one of the 50 percent of the Jacksonville population that was there.  I hope they rethink the setup if they every try to build something this big again.

So I eventually made it.  Anthropologie was as cute as ever.  I decided I was going to get a clearance headband for my trouble.  I didn’t buy anything at Swoosies, next door, but came perilously close to getting the Krinkles “Flying Lion” ornament. It was sparkly and had a christmas tree person riding on its back.  But $40 seemed too much… unfortunately that’s what it costs everywhere on the internet too.  Christmas clearance perhaps? I must have it.

Finally I decided to have Yoga Berry green tea frozen yogurt for dinner.  It was just across the street.  Though I now know we have one in Tallahassee on Ocala Street, but I’m never over there so I had no idea.  No need to drive to Jacksonville.

-Then I came home… made it by about midnight. I had a busy day.  And it was fun because if I’ve ever been to Jacksonville I was too young to remember it.  And I still want to go to the Fort Caroline Memorial, and I could go to the tea room again (I miss tea rooms.)

All photos included in this post are borrowed from various internet sources and are used with love and gratitude. Please contact me if you own the rights to any of these and would like them removed.

It just so happens that I drive God’s favorite car.

This house is 2 doors down from the last one, and currently for sale so you can look at a virtual tour of it online, which I love.  It has an alley, and a back yard with an arbor and great landscaping.  It looks so lush and a little crowded, it’s like my ideal yard and you can kind od see it peaking through as you drive by.  I also love that round part of the roof.

This house is just around the corner from me.  It’s pint size and yellow, with a red door.  The front porch is great, and the mini picket fence, love.  They must be Tennessee fans,huh, they always fly that flag.  I totally could live there.

So I thought I’d share my favorites from season 2 until now. (I didn’t watch season one, curses.) Featuring Youtube clips and Comments by me.  Beware the sappiness abounds… it’s just what I like.

Benji and Donyell: You Can’t Stop the Beat… because it’s Hairspray with Benji and Donyelle

Benji and Heidi: Black Mambo… because they rock there own style

Travis and Heidi: Bench Dance… because Travis is my favorite ever, Heidi is a revelation and it’s such a story

Sabra and Neil: Table Dance… because Neil can do a plange

Danny and Lacey: Hip Hip Chin Chin… because what? Demetri what? and the crazy music

Danny and Lauren: Then You Look at Me… because it’s Celine and running up stairs

Lion King Group Number… because it reminds me of Zach (long story) and it’s big bad Broadway

Joshua and Katee: No Air… because this was week number one and hip hop can be moving who knew

Mark and Chelsie: Bleeding Love… because Mark is crazy and dances in character like no other and Chelsie can really shake her hair

Brandon and Janette: Ruby Blue… because it made me like Wade on a gut level, and it made me pick Janette for the win (even though she didn’t)

Jason and Jeanine: If It Kills Me… because it’s Travis on the choreography and Jason Marz song, double love

My Favorite: Forever and ever…

Alison and Ivan: Why… because it made me fall in love with the show, that was it hook line and sinker, showcases the potential growth that a dancer can have.  Ivan was the biggest surprise ever.

The other is the girl who had my same job.  After much drama, weird things with HR, passive-aggressive prospective supervisors, not to mention talks of lay offs and crying… she got a promotion to a Case Management position in the out patient department.

But anyway… I did not have to work today because I got a promotion too! WooHoo.  I stayed in the same department, but I had to switch over to the twelve hour shifts that inpatient staff does.  Yesterday was my one week of doing it.  So far so good.

I had much HR drama as well, and after seeing what my friend went through I’m convinced that the HR system is broken.  We both happened to reach our one year of experience at about the same time in June and put in for a promotion then after much encouragement from our supervisors.  (That’s always nice.)  At the time I applied for a transfer as well (as to avoid the 12 hour shifts)  but my friend wanted to stay were she was because our job was so low stress and she was starting grad school.  She could just pick some weekend shifts for some extra cash.   Well bottom line is that HR never got back to either of us.  We puzzled out that they were unsure as to how or if they were going to count my part time experience.  Her’s didn’t have her experience documented properly (even though she had work a year at the company.)  And there may have been some wrong position numbers (which you know came for the HR website, so that I just don’t get.)

Well time goes on and thing are not straightened out.  The positions for my out of department transfer are all filled up.  So I told my boss that I’d take the 12 shift that was opening up, if we can get the HR ok.  Well like the next day, we here that our positions are being eliminated and that the majority of what we did day to day would be transferred up to a clerical position.  At that point they said we could keep our jobs with a demoted title but no cut in pay.  Well that did not sound good to either of us and we let people know it.  I continued to pray for the HR ok, for the job that I was already doing and she put in applications for various other promotions, but was met with, “well we already have so many applications…”

Well luckily by the next week (magically when the person left the job and they needed shift coverage) and a matter-of-fact letter calculating out my full time equivalent experience for them, I was approved for the promotion.  And my friend was resigned to make the move to the clerical job.

Well things really got dicey when on Tuesday, the head of HR called her to say that, no they would not be letting her just move over, she would have to reapply and take a pay cut.  I mean really?  So she basically would have been laid off.  She sent up the application (because who want to be without a job) and got called to meet with the clerical supervisor.  And it did not go well, she was apparently none to pleased that we were not happy campers about a demotion and pay cut.  My friend asked if she would have a place to work on Monday, and was told that they’d be getting back to her on that.  Hence the crying.  Oh my gosh, I don’t know what I would do if it was me (which, you know, it almost was.)

So … happy ending after all… she got called to a mystery meeting on Wednesday afternoon.  She thought she was going to get fired.  But it turns out they wanted to interview her for a Case Management position.  And it went great, of course, because she’s been working for the company for a year and at the end of the day the called her to tell her she got the job.  So she gets a promotion and to keep her 8-5 job and doesn’t have to work with the crazy clerical supervisor.

And I have to go to work tomorrow, my first weekend shift: 7:30am-8pm Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I like it so far, the mid week breaks are kinda cool.  I have much more to do, and I feel more challenged.  I used to (this is not any exaggeration) listen to a 3 hour radio show and read (well scan) the updates on about 200 blogs everyday at work.  But I had to change when I listen and I picked out about 20 blogs that I will keep up with at off times.

But so far I feel a lot more useful and important, and it makes the time go faster.

Can of Green Beans (rinsed)
Can of Garbanzo Beans (rinsed)
Can of Kidney Beans (rinsed)
Can of Black Beans (rinsed)
Can of chopped Water Chestnut (rinsed)
Half a red onion, chopped
6 Tbsp French Dressing (I used Publix brand)
3 Tbsp Medium Salsa
1 tsp Red Wine Vinegar
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder

Mix everything together and refrigerate for at least an hour.

I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live for ever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.’

The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, ‘How can this man give us his flesh to eat?’ So Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink. Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live for ever.’
——————
I love to cook. I don’t even really remember when I started. It just seems like something that I always did. From mixing up kool-aid to cutting boiled eggs with a safety knife. In middle school I had this signature dish that I got from watching an Italian cooking show on PBS on Saturday mornings. It was called black olive pasta, and was basically black olives tomatoes and garlic sautéed together and served over bowtie pasta. It got rave reviews from my family. And we ate it enough, until we all eventually got sick of it. But you can still find the recipe in the back of one of my mom’s cookbooks, even though I can’t remember the last time we ate it.

When I was in high school, and not away at drama practice, and when I was home from college during the summer, I took up a lot of the dinner cooking duties at home. Mom was working and she’d always say that if you want dinner when you want it, then you’ll have to cook it yourself. So I may have been a little begrudging in the beginning, but I eventually grew to love being able to pick meals, try new things and make what I wanted to. I didn’t like stir-fry so we didn’t ever have it. It worked out great.

Now days I don’t cook a lot because I live by myself. I fix things, but I don’t do a lot that requires chopping measuring or more than about four ingredients. I guess it something about cooking for other people that makes me happy. Preparing food is like giving a gift. I think that’s why I like doing it. It gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.

So whenever I have the opportunity I like to try new things out on people. I’ll see something new I want to try or I go in search of just the right thing. I made mushroom asparagus risotto for the thanksgiving potluck, I made dill yogurt dip for a cast party, I made couscous salad for our last United Methodist Women’s circle meeting, and on our young adult retreat I made a four bean salad that turned out to be a hit.

One of my favorite places to find new recipes is on a website called “Love and Olive Oil.” It is written by a girl about my age, and she has some of the best sounding things and the loveliest pictures of them: Proscuitto, Pear and Goat Cheese Panini, Chipolte lime glazed shrimp, halibut with grapefruit berblanc. Yum.

And now I even know what a berblanc is. It’s a white wine butter sauce. I learned this from the movie Julie and Julia that I saw last weekend when I was home with my parents for my mom’s birthday. It’s about Julia Child, the famous cook, and Julie Powell the woman who wrote about cooking all the recipes from her book in one year. Through cooking and following there passion, both Julie and Julia find a new zest for living.

There’s just something about food. It means love. The best part about the Love and Olive Oil site is the cupcake recipes. There are all sorts of colors and varieties. It’s amazing. And when the author’s now husband proposed to her, he did it by spelling out “Will You Marry Me?” in rows of mini cupcakes. We take dates to fancy restaurants; we give food as gifts to people we love. We make our children’s favorite meal when they come home to visit.

The bread that Jesus offers comes out of love too. The disciples and the audience here did not get it yet but we know the rest of the story. Jesus’s love was willing to go all the way to death. The bread he offers cost him more than some time and hardwork. If he’s the food then it would have to cost him his very life.

That’s the way food works you know, living things eat other living things. And just like the high priest would eat the sacrifices offered to god as a burnt offering. We get to eat off of the ultimate sacrifice. To participate in a love that goes to the furthest that it can go. Giving up everything, even unto death on a cross. Love Death Food then Everlasting Life.

It sounds weird though. Eating Jesus. The Old Testament talks about eating scrolls of god’s word, to take it fully into your life. But it’s something else when you are talking about eating a person. The Jews did not get it. ‘How can this man give us his flesh to eat?’ Jesus said. No… really unless you chew on my flesh, you won’t have a place with me.

Folks this something that you are going to have to participate in.

Food is not meant to just be pretty. It’s no good unless you take it in. You chew it up and swallow it. It has to become part of who you are. Not something detached. It’s like Jesus is saying, “This is not going to work if you treat me like a rubber bunch of grapes or a plastic pork chop. This is the real thing.”

We have to take a bite. We have to let him become a part of us. To let him come alive through us. And even better for us to become alive through him.

Julie Powell said that before Julia’s cookbook no one really cooked anything for there family, it was all frozen dinners. But then this thing came along that showed them a better way. “You can have real food… right at home, anytime you want.”

And just like that, Jesus is offering us something that’s real. It’s not the second rate stuff, the substitute for what is really possible. When I would come home from college I’d always be so excited for a home cooked meal. My parent’s would ask where they could take me out to eat. But I’d say I’ve had plenty of the industrial cafeteria food for a while I want the real stuff, stuffed shells, meatloaf and baked potatoes. My favorite things. Things that reminded me of home.

It’s easy to live your life just on the fake stuff. Stuff that’s all about this world. It could be career ambitions, fleeting relationship, mindless hobbies. Filling up on momentary success, temporary happiness. And you could miss out on the stuff that’s home-made. From our heavenly home. Because when you eat the bread of life that means forever. Your concerns change, the way you fell about other people changes, the way you spend your time changes. And you are less willing to make due with the imitations.

I had creamed spinach once that was made with non-dairy creamer and it was awful. It wasn’t the same. And just like there is imitation chocolate and cheese, and even imitation creamed spinach out there, there’s also imitation joy, imitation love, imitation hope. And when you’ve had the real thing you won’t settle for less. We won’t settle for shadowy, half existence, being alive for only a moment. We need to be really alive.

Food means life, in a very real way. Countless people in the world and even in our own country will die today because they don’t have enough food. There’s no getting away from that fact that we need it. Food means providence, sustenance. The passage talks about the food that the ancestors ate. Jesus is probable talking about the manna that God provided in the desert when the Israelites were fleeing Egypt and had run out of food. But Jesus said that even this gift from God was not the real bread because it only saved their earthly life for a moment. They all eventually died. So it’s not that the fake stuff in inherently bad or sinful. It’s just less than. When you live only for now there’s a infinite set of possibilities that you can’t even see.

The food that Jesus offers means life forever. It means giving up the old ways of this world and letting Christ live in you. It means yearning for heaven. It means working for the kingdom of God now. It means giving more than you can. It means living like Jesus, loving like Jesus, and sacrificing like Jesus.

This bread is about sharing. We share food with the people that we share our lives with. Jesus invites us here to share in his life. To become part of his family. To become fully alive.

Today we will be taking communion. Jesus told us to do this to remember him. To remember his love, his sustenance, his gift, his sacrifice. But here comes our end of the bargain. Are you going to take a bite? Because things are going to be different. Your life is going to change.

They say you are what you eat. Come chew on a piece of Jesus.

“Jesus is your sandwich” by Erin K. Thompson
August 16, 2009 Saint Pauls UMC Tallahassee: Vespers Service 7pm

Today made me think about my friends for a lot of reasons.  We miss you, David.

It’s kind of like discovering that my two friends already know each other.

Anyway… Erin is a nerd, with dubious taste in movies.

You can listen to the episode here. And I do take offense to calling it “one of the worst movie sequels ever made.”

You found me.  I’m Erin, owner of this year old blog, and reluctant autobiographer.  I say that mainly because I hope my posts, and my categories and stuff will speak for themselves.  But I am realistic to know that some people just want a little synopsis, because I look for them too. You know… “Why is she talking about that?”

The defining feature in my life is my relationship with Jesus.  That sounds trite.  But I say it first because my hope is that it will affect everything else.  And living out my faith makes me look weird sometimes.  I try to own it.

I work and worship along side a great group, called United Methodists.  We have our strengths and flaws.  I choose to be a leader in the church, locally and broadly, through engagement, service, and lending my voice.  There is really a dirth of committed lay leaders of my age group, and I hope others will take a stand.

I live in Tallahassee, Florida because I came here for graduate school in developmental psychology, with an emphasis in educational psychology and particularly reading.  While there I learned that I really am a science geek.  I learned a lot about what I am very good at and a lot about some pretty big weaknesses that I have.  I’ve been out of school for 18 months… without completing my degrees.  It’s an area where I could use some clarity myself.

I spent 12 months unemployed and have been working at a mental health center for over 6 months now.  My job is way boring, but it causes me no stress, a welcome condition after grad school and joblessness.

I spend my off time, and a good amount of my down time at work, as a media consumer.  It’s maybe a bit out of hand the number of blogs I read, podcasts I listen to, TV shows I watch, and books I own. But most enjoyable is my theater habit.  I know more than I ought to about New York shows, and spend ridiculous stretches of time working for free in community theater.

This must be… what comes next.  Stay tuned.

Enough whining.

So I decided to do a proposal for (shhhh don’t tell the committee) one of my least favorite shows, ‘night Mother. But the confluence of circumstances made this show one that I was actually likely to get a shot at. First it’s being produced in the “Coffee House” i.e. lobby. That means smaller scale and smaller budget. The show itself has very few technical elements, a unit set, a semi-modern setting and a cast of two. I think that means that they will be less nervous to have a novice at the helm. And besides that I have performed in a scene from the show, and I work in mental health. So that seemed to work because I had an interview on Wednesday, one step further than last year when I just got a no thank you call. The interview went well, I felt very prepared. And it was pretty fun to just talk about my plans, my understanding of the show, the challenges that I saw. I was little surprised that they didn’t ask me more esoteric questions, like “how do you view your role as a director”, or my favorite from district talk backs for student directed scenes, when two years in a row I got asked “what were you going for in this scene?” Instead they talked specifics of my draft scenic design and what I would look for in auditions, and how I would get a stage manager, mainly very practical things. At the end they asked if there was anything else that I’d like to share. I’m still a bit conflicted about if this was the right thing to say, and I felt nervous and looked at the ground a bit too much I think. But I told them that I hoped that my lack of experience would not be the final deciding factor, I of course elaborated a bit about how I was prepared and I think that this was the right next step. I just hope I didn’t come off desperate. I took up my whole 30 minutes allotted, and hey I would pick me. We’ll see, I’m supposed to be getting an email any day now.

To see hurt in the world and respond from love and disappointment, Lord grant us open eyes and soft hearts.

To accomplish small tasks that seem unnoticed and large tasks that earn acclaim, Lord grant us patience.

To earn the trust and respect of our communities, Lord grant us wisdom.

To recognize the vision of youth and the experience of age, Lord grant us humility.

To hear your voice of guidance, Lord grant us quiet.

And in the quiet we will gather strength for the work to come.

We will know that you have equipped us to serve your world, to love your people.

Father , you have given us big dreams; help us rise to meet them…

To lead passionately, to challenge boldly, to give deeply, to work tirelessly, and to love unconditionally

Love like you, Jesus.

Amen.

Highlights:

1. Is that Bret Micheals on the Tony Awards? Then him getting taken out by the flys.
2. The best supporting actor in a play bringing his wife on stage with him and her almost  falling out of her dress.
3. Frank Langella is seriously bitter.
4. Alice Ripley’s dramatic reading of the Kennedy Center sign.
5. The Billy Elliot performance that was about the only time when the room got quiet.
6. Counting the number of crew that got caught in a shot, and the number of people who will be loosing there jobs due to the horrendous sound issues.
7. Picking your favorite Frankie Vallie.
8. The three Billy’s acceptance speech. So cute.
9. The guy standing behind the producer accepting for Hair, who’s every thought came flying across his face.
10. And finally… best moment of the show had to be Neil’s 11:03 number. Brilliant.

Love the Lion King T-shirt.  I think that this was his senior trip.  Not bad, huh?

The rest of the run of the show went off with relatively little incident. Thankfully. Things got in a grove and were able to anticipate the problems that would come up. One of our Gretls had the urge to wave at her friends in the crowd, one Kurt decided he needed to ham it up and would add different line readings, longer exasperated sighs, and bigger facial expressions every time he was on stage, and the other Kurt would get a wild hair and do things like kicking the Nazis and grabbing people’s hats. Oh, kids.

The only other thing of note was the night when the computer running the light board froze. That cause the lighting for one scene to stay up through the scene change that was supposed to be in black out, and caused a black out in the middle of another scene. Our Marta was already doing a potty dance, so when that happened I told her she could go to take care of it, and she almost missed her entrance when the lights came up again, three minutes later. And for our last weekend I had to donate my black socks to the cause, when “wild hair” Kurt lost his. He offered to give them back to me, but I said no thanks.

Nights, we’d go out with the grownups, and talk about the kid’s antics and the crushes our middle school nuns had on the college boys. I love theatre because it takes all kinds.

The day we closed was strike, of course. I think that I had the most fun tearing down the mountains, and the least fun making the sixth and final pass through the boy’s dressing room. I think 15 people took a pass at it and it was still a wreck when we were closing up to go to the cast party.

Our stage manager (loosely termed…nice guy, little short on the organization and leadership skills) hosted the cast party, which was a stand up thing to do, but made him miss strike, a primary stage manager duty. I gave all my kids a few others “cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels, door bells and sleigh bells” for a little present (a paintable plaster pony, an apple with a strudel recipe and a jingle bell.) We took advantage of our double casting and had a red verses blue field day. I abstained (how could I choose?) and instead got to hold Jessica’s (our Maria) baby during the events. Tommy was 10 weeks old at auditions… that is one brave woman. He’s such a button and only wanted to be held against your shoulder for maximum shirt drooling and earring pulling.

Read Part 2: Confirmation Sunday

The week after Easter was Confirmation Sunday. Did I tell you what I great trip the Confirmation Retreat was? We did the labyrinth and we got to hang out with the girls from Gray Memorial UMC that we car pooled with. And I got to pray for Lydia. Maybe I did tell you. I didn’t go back to look. This was a great class. I did my standard cards for confirmation Sunday and I got to announce their names and to walk them up the aisle after the service. We did not have the regular reception; we had the fundraising lunch for the Nicaragua mission trip. I was not going to go because I was feeling poor and fundraisers are expensive and they were having roasted chicken with bell peppers, yellow rice and coconut cake. But I got an invite from one of the families of the confirmands. So I took them up on the free lunch and a chance to hang out.

After the service we all took pictures in the sanctuary and then we went to over to lunch. By the time we got there, being last, nearly the whole place was filled up and they had not saved enough seats in the reserved section. Joyce found a spare chair all the families sat together but one who had to be moved to some opens spots at a far table. Just because it’s my kind of luck they ended up with one whole empty table and the rest full. They offered me a place there. This was a bit (well a lot) upsetting to me because it just throw me into seventh grade flash backs and feeling stupid because I didn’t even want their pepper chicken anyway. So I went over to find Joyce and see if there was going to be any programming and stay for that then hit the road to Quincy for Tech Week of Sound of Music.

She of course said, “Aren’t you going to eat something? Oh there’s no place to sit.” Well that was it. There, in front of God and my whole church family, I lost it. I’m so private with my feelings, maybe even to an unhealthy level, in fact it’s bugging me a little to write this. But there I was bawling right in the middle of the fellowship hall. Jill (our children’s ministry director) grabbed my hand and we walked over to her office where I could gain some control. I think it was just a wave of overwhelmed-ness and stress and happiness and loneliness and a stupid circumstance. They ended up fitting me in at a table and the chicken was not all that bad. And Joyce told me not to feel bad because she was crying during the benediction and when we where all walking out.

Read Part 1: Easter Sunday

I am a bit bookmark obsessed.  With my delicious I have all my bookmarks at my finger tips when ever I have the Internet.  Plus they have a tagging system for categorisation, allowing multiple tags on one bookmark.

“Well, insertion of bread into that so-called toaster produces no toast at all, merely warm bread! Inserting the bread twice produces charcoal. So, clearly, to make proper toast it requires one and a half insertions, which is something for which the apparatus doesn’t begin to allow! One assumes that when the General of Electric built it, he might have tried using it. One assumes the General might take pride in his creations instead of just foisting them on an unsuspecting public.”

This and I’ve been using my iPod as intended lately (for music, as opposed to just podcasts) and so I decided I’d listen to the whole Tyrone Wells (singer songwriter, former “Christian” artist) CD on my car trip home for memorial day weekend.  And I have to say that it moved down a few pegs in my esteem.  I bought the CD in iTunes late one night about a year ago after hearing some songs (“Wondering Where You Are” rocks my socks)… and “Dream Like New York” and “Sea Breeze” and “What are We Fighting For” are awesome.  That first listen through the whole thing, I thought “this is going to be one of those CD’s that I love every song.” I was lying in bed smiling the whole time.  But this time I found myself scoffing at some of the lyrics’ predictable metaphors and slant rhyme.  It bummed me out.  When did I get so hypercritical?

Could be the hipster music on TBTL, my newest podcast/ something to do at work.  And I would not even know what a slant rhyme was had in not been for Musicaltalk… my first podcast/ still something to do at work, (besides write blog posts.)  My iPod is at war… the podcasts against the music.  The music is holding ground, no Sondhiem or She & Him yet. But who knows what tonight will bring.

From UMC Young Clergy’s 40 days of prayer.

What to look forward to: confession and learning from the past, asking for guidance, and visions for the future.  It’s my pleasure to contribute and I hope that we will all become inspired and energized during this Annual Conference season.

So on the first dress rehearsal and the first night we did not use work lights (meaning it was dark back stage) we finally got the rail up so that the kids could use the escape steps like they had to. And I made it a point to be over there to supervise the stairs whenever the kids needed to be using them.

But last Friday was when it happened, during the last time the escape stairs were used all the kids come down in a line carrying boxes and we have the whole crew over there to collect boxes and hold hands. That night there was a little too much pushing and shoving and Tiffany, one of our seven year olds stepped off into the space with no steps on the down stage side of the unit. She fell into the curtain and the down to the stage, that whole seven feet.

Jessie the assistant director (haha, what does that mean?) was a step or two closer to her when we watched it happen. She tumbled down the curtain and landed on her bottom on the cardboard box that she was holding. Jessie stepped right in swung open the curtain and scooped her up. She teared up right away but didn’t cry out in pain. We were met in the dressing room by the director and her husband who had saw (and heard the whole thing from where they were watching in the house, and then Tiffany’s mom (she is playing Frau Schrader) who got run down by the director and her husband as she was removing her mic pack in the work room.

By some miracle Tiffany was fine besides being a little sore and bruised from the corner of the cardboard box. She even made it back for her next scene. And we got rails around all sides of the escape steps the next day.

There was little boy in a consentration camp that got assinged to cleaning the commander’s bathroom. One day he stole a used bar of soap and brought it back to his teenaged friend to show it off.   The theft was soon discovered and everyone was called together to be questioned.  Just as the boy was holding his hand out with the soap, his friend snachted it away and yelled out that he had the soap.  He was shot on the spot.

Wow… that got me.  There is just something about sacrificial love.  Someone else taking the blame.  It’s real easy to say “Jesus died for our sin.”  But it’s good to feel it sometimes.

We had bruch of Sam’s pastries and frozen fruit, not quite the Easter spread we get in Pensacola.  But when Cynthia sat on one of the said pastries that almost made up for it.  That kind of made me cry too, with laughter.

For 8:30 service we were in the sactuary.  The theme for Clarke’s sermon was transformation, and we used butterflies to decorate the window sills and we brought in potted plants to the narthex.  During the service we added butterfly garden stakes to the plants… you know like the tranformation had just taken place.  It was very pretty and colorful, but a little less impactful than it could have been because our narthex is a bit cluttered (my hospitality workshop told me that’s not a very welcoming thing.)    That work great for 8:30 but the service was so long that the 9:45 people were already waiting and saw them before the other service let out.

The thing during 8:30 that made me cry was the lady that was sitting next to me in the pew.  We had a bunch of kids, of course, and they were all being cute during the children’s sermon.  But the whole time the lady who was maybe in her late fourties was holding her husband’s hand and weeping.  I don’t know anything more than that, what happened, if she had a loss.  She was just sitting there in pain.  Besides my empathy for her, I just thought about all the other people who feel pain and regret during happy times.

Then I had to teach Sunday School, which was maybe a little too creative.  I took the kids to the 9:45 service to remove the butterflies from the plants, and to watch my friends play in the pickup band that was playing that day.  Then we had our lesson outside, which was a bit challenging and distracting for my little people.  Then we went back to play Easter symbol memory, which is always the biggest hit ever.  They love it.  Cokesbury must be up on their developmentally appropriate materials (I think I want that job) because they always include at least three memory card sets for each unit.

Then I had my Easter Whataburger meal and had a laundry and movie day.  That night was the Tallahassee episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.  Which was just sad in the classic, human interest story way.  You can watch it for yourself.  But that was so sad.

I told my Sunday Schoolers that Easter is the happiest day of the year.  For me it was little crazy too.

Update… I interrupt this rant to share that fact that Demi Moore via Ashton’s twitter feat, was just promoting “Nothing but Nets.” Could that have been on the billboard too?  The duel against CNN was apparently for a pledge of 10,000 bed nets.

Follow me (I think I have like 4 tweets… don’t get your hopes up) ErinKT…. But only if you buy a net.

Seriously, watch.

And that love advice from Captain Kirk?  “Go Boldly.”  And in this case it was to Ireland to find your deported singer songwriter boyfriend, so that works for me.

So besides speaking at the rally, I got word at our Wednesday morning research meeting that the choir that was supposed to sing had dropped out. Gloria said that someone had volunteered to contact my choir (Selah) to see if they could do the opening music. I said I’d email around and see, but I didn’t feel too confident as we have trouble finding Sunday mornings in advance that we can all get together, let alone the Monday night coming up in five days none of which was a practice day. To everyone’s delight, Gary responded to my email that very night and agreed to lead some hymns. Over the next two days I got six people to agree, and a few nos (including our director.) So I gave the go ahead, with the proviso that we would need an accompanist as I had not heard from ours yet. Gloria said no problem they had someone lined up to play who could do our pieces, I just needed to get the music to her.

So I made plans to bring the music to her house.  And when I got there things were not ok.  She said that she could not play the music and she seemed a little annoyed to be asked.  “I knew I should have said no.” So at that point I have a commitment to the gig, my members coming and no one to play for us.  And Gloria still thinks that music is something that just happens. “Can you sing accapella, or don’t you all know some songs she knows?”  Well, I guess we have some hymns. So I called the grumpy lady back and we land on Let There be Peace on Earth, This is the Day, and Here, I am Lord. I’ll print the sheet music to If I Had a Hammer and she’d pick up a Methodist hymnal after the 11:00 service.

At pickup rehearsal on Sunday, we found out that our pianist could come, and most all of the members that I had not heard from agreed to come.  Now we are getting somewhere. I had a busy day on Sunday and after doing a skit singing with Selah twice, teaching Sunday School and trying to look for a friend I invited (who didn’t show) I just was hanging out in the sanctuary chatting, and waiting for her to coming.  Well my friend left and I decided to change locations.  Then I saw her sitting up front, apparently since before the end of the service ten minutes ago.  She crabbed at me some more and told me how the arrangement of the song I had printed was not right.  Good night, lady!

Which brings us to the night.  It turned into a comedy of errors.  There were no escape steps from the choir loft that didn’t go right up front, parking was a bear, one of the songs I decide we should sing I forgot had this wordy fast bit and not everyone had their music,  at three minutes till we were going to start the accompanist had not shown up, the projector was shining into the face of the top row, the keyboard that was set up was not full size, the piano was not mic-ed.  We were accosted by cranky pants again, because she apparently had not whined to me enough, asking for our player to stay and to do the closing, I reminded her that I already told her that Lori had to go back to class.  Then we were ready to go.  We could not hear the piano at all from the loft.  So we had to run down so that we could stand by it, and it is wildly out off tune anyway and you can still barely hear that she’s playing.  They through up some mics which I don’t think were even meant to pick up group singing.  By the time we started we only had time for 2 songs instead of the three we had planned for.  No one introduced us we just go.  And it takes a few minutes for the people up front to pick up that something was happening and people in the back never got it and continued with their conversations.

After the singing nine of the people left, and three of us stayed.  Thus ruining the grand plan my SPUMC TEAM fellow leaders had of recruiting people from the choir to start coming to our event.  Well that and the fact that one of the members said it was “the worst singing experience I have ever had.”

Gloria asked us to sing again at the Action in April.  Think I can convince them?

I did have the advantage that Gloria (the lead organizer) pretty much wrote my speech. I did tweak it a bit, including rewriting an entire section that I did not think was saying what I wanted it to say. I also had a problem about what our issue actually was, since I was at all those meetings I know that it was thrown together really just to have something to present. The purpose of the rally is to get everyone excited about the issue, and our issue is just frankly not that exciting. I really pushed my committee to work on asking the city to fund a housing advocate, but it just didn’t get off the ground fast enough. And all the stuff that I was working on did not make the cut anyway. So are you ready… it might just be too thrilling for you to handle. We want the city to put out an RFP in order for a CDC to run the Rental Rehabilitation Loan Program. And if you don’t already know what those acronyms are, well it’s too boring to care.

Let me just say that no one was thrilled. It was fine, and I think I did the best that I could but I don’t know how you can really fire people up about grant procedures and contract writing. It’s long been a criticism of our organization that we don’t work on things that are exciting enough, that actually meet our own criteria for what makes a good issue. There’s work to be done there for sure.

We did have the Marching 100 (or 30 of them at least) play some music for us that included a drum roll before I got up to speak. But I think it may have had the opposite effect that they were intending, well on me. The opening speaker was talked about Les Mis, and I know what happens after drum rolls during the French Revolution. Gulp.

I made these at home once.  Remember, family?  But they involved too much rolling pin to do again.

I went to Temple with this years confirmands on Friday and it was interesting of course. I think that the last time I went to a Jewish service was for Molly’s confirmation.  It was really a good object lesson for what I’ve learned lately about hospitality.  Feeling welcome takes more than a warm hello.  (Though that’s always a good place to start.)  You have to think about what the whole experience will be like.  And it made me remember what it’s like to be a visitor and particularly one who doesn’t know what’s going on.  I did really enjoy the rabbi’s sermon, which was from a Torah selection in Exodus about what sort of clothes a priest should wear.  I bet you rarely hear a church sermon on that.  Plus he did this whole Project Runway bit.  I think sermons need more bits.

I was telling AJ, our Leo, how I remember seeing this on the Rosie ODonnell Show and falling in love with it.  He said,  ”Oh I go watch it on YouTube all the time. ” So I thought I’d spread the wealth. 

What else… Tuesday was the first blocking rehearsal that I made it to (on Monday I was stranded on the interstate.) Eric , our director, is a little dictatorial for my taste, but I knew that going in. My favorite is the eye rolls when actors get some blocking that they don’t think makes sense. I guess that when you are doing a full length musical with ten ensemble songs in two months kind of eliminates all the time for creative freedom. Tuesday was also our dance rehearsal, which was an interesting beast because we don’t have a choreographer. We have 3 songs to dance to, the first is a turkey trot that involves walking and kicking like a turkey while in dance hold… nice. The second is a two step that we have been told to just dance to, in social dance fashion. We’ll see how that goes, the people dancing in the scene are not really the usual dance ensemble type (and I certainly include myself in saying that.)

The music in this show is also a killer and they have me singing first alto, because I choose quite a low song for my audition piece in hopes of getting the Mrs. Phagan role (even though I’m way too young with much too high a speaking voice.) I didn’t get that role just a spot in the alto section. But the crazy thing is that singing alto seems to bere little correlation to the range of notes I have to sing. I just get to sing super hard harmonies. Thanks Jason Robert Brown.

What else… I volunteered to right the first draft of a “Tenants’ Bill of Rights” for TEAM. Fun stuff, and I’m going to go to the Creative Worship Committee meeting so that I can better recruit members for it, and also work on some issues we are having with the contempary worship service. Shake things up.

So that’s what I’ve been up. Busy in a mostly good way.

You get a golden star and certification as a fellow nerd if you get the joke about Jeremy Piven.  If you are not a Broadway nerd all will be revealed in the comments. NPH rocks my socks.

Okay I’ve been gone awhile, but keeping up a blog while you’re unemployed is immensely easier than when you are working full time. But like everyone else in the world does it. So I’m gonna work back up to posting more often. And in the meantime I’m going to continue to get used to having a real job.

All Things Considered, December 17, 2008 · By the Rev. James Martin

It’s the middle of the day, and I’m opening my Christmas cards. And what do I see when I tear open the envelope? Not Baby Jesus in his manger. Not the Virgin Mary. Not even the Wise Men. No, chances are the card will be a photo of a family on some beach in the Caribbean. Or a picture of somebody’s house. Or someone’s dog wearing reindeer horns.

These are the new favorite Christmas cards, for even the most pious Christians: the family cards.

Family cards display — on the front — a photo of a happy family, typically wearing red-and-green scarves or red-and-green sweaters. Sometimes the family dog is included, wearing a scarf covered with slobber. Just as often, family cards show the clan on their summer vacation, posing jauntily in bathing suits in the Caribbean. These cards don’t say “Merry Christmas” as much as “Look where you didn’t go!”

Look, I love family photos during the holidays. Plus, I actually read those annual holiday letters, all of which start with “What a busy year it’s been!” Seeing photos of my friends and their families and even enjoying a few sunny beach scenes when it’s cold and dark outside is a highlight of December.

But I enjoy the photos more when they’re inside the card, not the card itself. Because more and more, even devout Christians have been replacing Jesus, Mary and Joseph with themselves. Doesn’t it strike you as weird to set aside the Holy Family in favor of your family? Does a photo of Cabo San Lucas trump the story told by the original San Lucas? Is Christmas really about you?

Still unconvinced? Try a thought experiment. For your next birthday, how would you feel about getting a birthday card with my photo on it? “Happy Birthday! It’s a photo of me!” My modest campaign against family cards has less chance of success than another Ralph Nader presidential bid. People will accuse me of being anti-family. But I’m not: I’m more pro-Holy Family. Plus, I’m battling Snapfish, Shutterfly, Kodak and a lot of online card stores that have been promoting this idea with more resources than a poor Jesuit can muster.

So I’ll leave you with a simple plea. Place those great photos inside the card. Or how about this: When choosing your Christmas cards this year, think more Jesus and less you. Or, more Virgin Mary, and less Virgin Islands.

The Rev. James Martin is a Jesuit priest and author of My Life with the Saints.

Anyway… Erin is a nerd.

So today the morning shift ACII didn’t show up. (I say morning but she really works from 7:30 to 8:00.)  So the problem came when it got to be 4:30 and everyone realized that the day shift counselor would be alone from 5 till 7:30.  So the VP came down and was frantically calling the scheduleing person and all the ACIIs to get someone to come in for those 2 and a half hours or even someone who’d been promoted from out of the department.  And she had no luck.  So I volunteered to stay and at least answer the phones and run insurance verifications until the night shift guy came.  So now I hopefully will have some extra credit plus 2 and a half hours of double pay. Woohoo.

And I actually had a good time. It was like being thrown head first into the fray.  I think that’s why I like Stage Management too, because it’s like a hundred little issues being thrown at you at once and you have to figure out what’s most pressing and what has to be put off.  So do I like it because it was novel or because it really was fun? Once I know all the answers it won’t be as challenging. Hum.

Excited?

I think the key will be to be proactive about getting clinical experience.  The funny thing is my supervisor is the clinical person and she was telling me I was going to be doing like all data processing.  And then the data processing people came down today and told us how they really needed us to do clinical things that they couldn’t do.  Anyway, I think the bottom line is they took two positions (and four people assistant level people) and made one new position for two of us degree-d people.  And they still haven’t worked out the kinks.

Oh and here’s a thing.  The CEO came to welcome us on orrientation and I was introducing my self and he said “oh, I’ve heard about you.” Now since it was the first day I think that must be good, right?  He didn’t say that to anyone else.  But I have been know to missread a situation… infamous on the first day…sheesh.

So I went and bought a battery powered alarm clock that has a outdoor temperature sensor, bonus! But it’s just not that fun to hug.

——–

“There are always uncertainties ahead, but there is always one certainty–God’s will is good.”
-Vernon Paterson

Always, huh? I guess so. I guess that’s why you have to be content in the way things are now, because God always has what’s best for you in mind.

But I folded… I told myself I’d ask for a straight-on standing picture, but… but the guy was telling me how I looked like Drew Barrymore, so I thought he must be an expert right?  So he took all my shots 3/4 to the camera and siting.  Meaning my pictures came out more like this…

Now I realize that some people may want their boobs to look as big as possible in their photos, but some of us don’t need the help.

Whatever.

Sunday Quotation: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:27-31, NIV

My new jacket.. but I think it looks better on me.  It’s looking a little maternity-ish on this poor girl.

That’s right… Fifteen extra days of made for tv Christmas movies in case 25 wasn’t enough. I love it.

It’s full out hot tea weather.

They say that product placement is going to take over advertising… with all the people being able to fast froward through commercials.  But if this is what it looks like were in trouble.

The Brain – is wider than the Sky -
For – put them side by side -
The one the other will contain
With ease – and You – beside-

The Brain is deeper than the sea -
For – hold them – Blue to Bue -
The one the other will absorb -
As sponges – Buckets – do

The Brain is just the weight of God -
For – Heft them – Pound for Pound -
And they will differ – if they do -
As syllable from Sound -

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

I have been to the highest point in Florida… but that’s not really a mountain.  The mountain I am thinking about is in South Carolina at Camp Awaninta.  We went there with youth group a few times for the end of Mission-fest.  That was one week in the summer when we’d gather to do in-town mission work in the morning and then have devotions and fun stuff in the afternoons and evenings.  Then at the end of the week we went on a trip someplace fun.  We went to this camp at least 3 times.  They had all sorts of fun stuff to do and then we went whitewater rafting.  They have a zip line and a hummer ride and a ropes course.  It was always a lot of fun.

At the top of one of the mountains they had a cross that you could climb up to, and benches to sit and think and pray.  There was a steep face of the mountain that is clay and then a back way that was more like a nature trail.  So we climbed up the nature trail way and we decided we’d go down the steep way.  I don’t know who’s idea it was but it was not a good one.  We started out walking down but the momentum was so great that at about half way down you couldn’t help but run or fall down.  The only problem was that… you know… mountains end.  And boy did I see it coming.  I came running down full tilt this steep hill, I took one step onto the leavel ground and my body kept moving down that incline right into the clay.  And right in front of my group.  And to add insult to literal injury, I had to go to dinner with my red-clay stained outfit.  Man.

They match my blog.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote article for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Well I suppose some of those are open to certain interpretation.

So I was thinking about that… the relationship between pain and freedom.  I think that you can’t have freedom without pain of regret.  Because when you can choose to go down one road and not another there’s always the thought about what could have been.  And you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself.  You don’t generally regret the things that you are forced to do because you didn’t have the choice, you weren’t free.  And maybe that’s why we are sometimes reluctant to make choices. We’re afraid to miss something good.

What else… the cousin (the one who married the brother) was the widow of a French Aristocrat.  And one of Jane’s other brothers was adopted by like the third riches man in England.  And Tom Lefroy became the Prime Minister of Ireland during the potato famine.  Oh and then we have Jane Austen, inventor of the omniscient narrator.  All these fancy people hanging out together.  So what’s the difference from today?  How come pastors’ daughters don’t move in the upper realms of society?  It’s the rise of the middle class.  The fact that so many more people can afford to keep themselves in a comfortable manner.  So in Edwardian times connection and family were almost everything… you could be struggling to get by and still be seen as high society.  In fact that conflict between money and status is a major theme of all of Jane Austen’s novels.   Because she was witnessing the first time when money could buy the entry ticket to a respected life.  Now that’s about all you can do is buy your way in.

• SIGN UP: Sign the Save Daises online petition.
• TURN ON: Go to ABC.com and play old episodes. If you have some spare change, download a few from iTunes. If Daisies brings in enough digital dime, that revenue might offset the on-air losses.
• REACH OUT: Contact ABC online or use the quaint ol’ post office to send a letter explaining, in your own passionate but polite words, why and how Daisies is the birdhouse in your soul. The address for ABC is 500 S. Buena Vista St., Burbank, CA 91521-4551.
• PUSH THOSE DAISIES: There are 23,000 species in the daisy family of flowers, including marigolds, coneflowers, sunflowers, chamomile, chrysanthemums, dahlias and zinnias. Send a bunch of your faves to ABC, or better yet, send flower seeds. They’re light and therefore cheap to ship. Seeds last for years and won’t go bad or go to waste, and they could be planted to grow into something beautiful in the spring. Don’t forget to include a note explaining that this is for the love of Daisies!

I went to Haute Heads about three time a few years ago.  I started going there because the outside of the building was cute, and I continued to go there because it was cute on the inside.  It has jewel toned walls with gold scroll work and mirrors with fancy frames.  The sitting room has these big purple poofy chairs.  And they sell beaded jewelry that’s a lot like the kind I make.  It’s great.  It reminds me of the set of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella… my kind of place.  But I quit going mainly because of the cost.  It was about double the cost of a mall hair cut.  And I didn’t like the fact that the girl kept saying that may hair was mousey brown and that I needed to dye it like chestnut brown.  But I like being a blonde, dark blonde, but blonde none the less.

Anyway I was more taken in by the beautiful decor rather than the beautiful people.  But it gave me a different perspective.  I would rather just get a good hair cut.  And you know what really impressed me?  All of the customers who came down to the craft fair just to support their friend.  I think that’s priceless.

This morning was Laity Sunday again so I got to help lead worship again this year.  I was much less nervous.  And I also got to do the children’s sermon.  That was too much fun; I loved it. I had a couple of laugh lines even.  And the preschool choir sang so we had a bunch of takers.  I think next time I am going to pay more attention to my tone of voice because I found myself talking in that “I’m talking to a kid voice.”  I also think that I needed to engage with the kids a little more.  I was a little over eager about getting the word out that I neglected to look and see if I was getting a reaction and that the kids were understanding.  But over all good and practice makes perfect, right?  Luckily I remembered to do all my parts this year.  And I got lots of compliments on the prayer that I wrote.  So I thought I’d give you all an excerpt.

“…and we also give thanks on this special Sunday for the ministry of the laity.  Those who respond to God’s call on all Christians’ lives, who choose to take time to offer God’s love in action through teaching and speaking and singing and witnessing and serving. Today we ask you to renew us all, to give us a clearer vision of the ways we can give sacrificially.  Help us to leave what is comfortable to meet you challenge.  Let us be the voice of peace in a warring world.  Let us be the ones who are generous even in difficulty.  Let us be a welcoming face to the stranger.  We ask this all in true sincerity and with the confidence of children of the Lord of the universe. Our God who created all things from the tiniest bacteria to the greatest mountain.  Who continues to do great works even in our own lives and will still be comforting and protecting our great-great-great grandchildren….”

My favorite story… apparently one of our medical doctors appreciated the fact that bacteria got a shout out in church.  Happy to oblige.

“A million residents of the Chelyabinsk Province in Russia found out what happens when radioactive waste is not properly stored or cooled, between 1948 and 1990 -not that they were told what was happening. The Worldwatch Institute calls it the “most polluted spot” in history.” mental_floss

Why yes, that is me standing by a lake in Chelyabinsk. How picturesque.

So I got to the post office a couple minutes after it closed and had to go through that drive through too.  That of course meant that that I missed the last pickup too so my mail run was for naught.  But there was this woman standing on the curb by the post office exit. She’d been standing there the whole time I was in the parking lot and had a carry-on size piece of luggage.

I pulled up to turn on to the street and she looked at me and held up the sign she had in here hand.  It was written on ballpoint on a sheet of loose leaf.  The wind was strong enough that the paper was flapping so that the only thing that I could read was “for food.”  It’s getting cooler but I’m still wearing shorts and she had on a winter coat.  She looked like she could be someones grandma.

So I decided I’d go to CVS instead of Sonic and pick-up some trail mix for her along with my jalapenos.  When I pulled back around she was gone from the post office.  And then I looked around and she was sitting on the window sill at the convenience store next door, with her coat on her bag, smoking a cigarette. I didn’t stop.

Thing is, I don’t know what she really needs, or what the right thing is to do. Maybe I’ll hold on to the cranberry trail mix so I’ll have a better plan next time.  And I don’t mean that “dang, I was dooped and now I’m stuck with the cranberries.”  But she is a person, with a life, and a family, and a story and obviously a difficult one at that.  And I can’t do anything that will make a real difference, or not be patronizing.  Or maybe it is that I’m unwilling to.  All I have is the fragments that I gleaned from observation of this women, nothing that tells me anything about who she really is.

—————-

Stephanie had the youth do an exercise a few weeks ago.  They all started by making bags to give to the homeless with a granola bar and a Vienna sausage and an apple sauce.  They then had a scavenger hunt to look for their dinner.  Everywhere they went they were turned away until they found the homeless bags that they had made waiting for them in the sanctuary.  And man did they not like that twist.  Apparently not everyone like Vienna sausages like I do.  But it’s obviously no grand gesture to give away the food you’re not willing to eat.  It humbles you a little, and makes you think about person-hood apart from status and possessions.  So even though I got to be the one denying my spaghetti to the youth, I think I learned a lesson too.  Because today I felt a little something extra. And it wasn’t good.  I think that’s called empathy. And praise God for that.

“The sea bean is a succulent plant that is a one of the Salicornia species. It is not really a bean and it does not grow in the sea, but near in the water. They grow wild around the rocks on the seashore, where they get washed by the waves. They do not get very big, usually less than 30 cm tall, with a main stem that grows up horizontally, with small branches coming out. The leaves are so small, that the sea bean looks like it has small scales instead of leaves. Many of the varieties are green, but like trees, their foliage turns red in autumn. They produce hermaphrodite flowers that are pollinated by the wind and ocean breeze. Their fruit is small and succulent, with a single seed.

Sea bean can be eaten raw or cooked and used in many different preparation. I like them with citrus, raw mushroom, crab meat and salads. The flavor is delicate and very marine with a high amount of saltiness that reminds you of the ocean.”

Combine…. Some may be pureed and then reincorporate for salsa that is less runny. Let sit for about an hour to let the flavors marinate.

Featuring reality TV losers (country singers not withstanding) and did you see this slogan? It’s like they know my inner shame. “Erin loves sappiness, reality shows, and cheap things. Do we have the commercial for her?”

We were singing in honor of the day, a fun African piece.  But that also meant that we had to be there to rehearse at 7:45.  My helping began when Laurel brought her grandchildren in, a four year old and a two year.  She is like 98 pounds and was trying to lift them both up on to her hip. But the little one kept sliding of.  So I when to give her a boost and she burst into tears when I put my arms out to her. Ouch, burned by the two year old.

After we were done practicing Sally asked us to help move the left over garage sale junk off the parking lot.  So there I am in my insensibly high heels and a-line skirt, carting nineteen fifties vacuums and knitting kits, and humidifiers across the lot.  We sang for the call to worship then I left to set up for Sunday School.  There was plenty of time left so I got to make copies and cut out shields for the coat-of-arms craft.  But I left my curriculum at home so I had to wing it a little.  By the way it is very confusing to a second grader that Abraham was once named Abrahm and that Abraham was not named after Abraham Lincoln.  They even asked “what does Abraham mean?” Well luck has it the Bible tells us that it means “the father of many.”  My favorite thing… we were putting pictures of ancient buildings on the map and I told them that the first one was a Ziggarat.  The next one was these domed buildings…Amanda says, “oh, it’s an Egg-arat.”

Had to leave early to sing again.  Then I got asked to be a “pew buddy” by our childrens’ director. There’s no childrens’ Sunday School during the eleven o’clock hour so the kids whose parents go to the contemporary service and then 11 adult class, go to the regular Sunday School and then sit with volunteers during the 11 service before childrens’ church (wow that’s a mess.)  We didn’t have many takers today but Grace came to sit with us and she was having some nose running issues, but I didn’t have any tissues or anything, I felt so inadequate.

Before the service started Sally asked if I’d do part of the “presenting of the breads” which involved reading a paragraph… mine was about sun-dried tomato bread.  I think I only stumbled on a few words sheesh. I think I told God to remember that there was waring in the middle east.  Um I think God’s all over that, we’re the ones that need to remember.  We got to the communion part of the World Communion Sunday and we were singing the opening song and Clarke and Sally were looking distressed.  The sent out one of the acolytes to get me to help serve communion.  I think that at the 8:30 service they had a retired minister helping but he must have bailed.

The highlights… Me trying to grab the bread dish, Clarke “I’m serving you.” Oh yeah…  Me being the last one done every time because the line is “The blood of Christ shed for you.” and saying that to everyone takes longer than the minister version that is many more sentences and covers the time it take to serve three or four people. This must be why they need a master’s degree… My designated acolyte tripping and spilling a whole tray of juice on the floor and her white gown…  Me running out of juice cups with one person left, making me take even longer, and generally interrupting the reverent service with my inability to count… Oh yes and remember the high heels…ouch, and we are all glad I went with my crew neck black shirt instead of the v-neck if you know what I mean….And we don’t have hymns going on so you just feel everyone watching your communion incompetence.  I obviously needed the training session.

When I was in tenth grade, my English teacher told me that I ought to smile more on the first day of class.  Like from the front of the room, in the presents of all my classmates.  It was harsh.  Hear that teachers?  Don’t do that.  I do find myself scowling occasionally when I’m thinking but I don’t mean to.

In college one of my best friends told me that one of her friends who had become a mutual acquaintance found me intimidating.  That’s really the first time I thought about that I could intimidate anyone (well except maybe a second grader.)    And speaking of that, I don’t have that “kids-want-to-sit-on-my-lap” thing anymore.  My VBS kids loved my high school co-teacher, but not me so much.  And when I’ve worked wit the youth they just don’t think I’m as cool as some of the other helpers.

And I even got in trouble when I was working on “Once on this Island” for being too mean to the cast.  I told them in notes one night that I was going to come hit them if they did not stay quiet backstage.  Of course I was joking, I mean that’s not a hard one to figure out.  But on the other hand I was basicly left to be the long arm of the law, with the director whinning about behavior but not setting any standards or doing things like start rehearsals late.  But the one good thing that came of that was I may not have made any best friends, I came out the end with everyone still respecting me (something the other staff couldn’t say.)  The good word from that whole fiasco (the show was great somehow, I mean the offstage drama) traveled far and wide I’m sure and it makes me wonder if that’s some of the reason that I’m having issues with the directors selection commitee and the excutive director.  One would hope that they’d give me a chance to tell my side of things.

So I guess that’s it; I’m not a warm and fuzzy person. I’m not so nice.  But I try to be good…sincere, friendly, loyal, loving. And I try to think about smiling more.  That’ll have to be enough.

Well yesterday I got a call from the front desk woman who I talked to when I was in the last time.  She was very apologetic and said that it was a busy time, that she can’t believe that she did not tell me about the charges, that it didn’t matter if I had good credit or not that everyone would get that charge.  Then she asked me if there was anything that she could do.  Wait is that a trick question?  I said that if she couldn’t remove the charge then not really.  Then she asked if I wanted her to speak with her supervisor and see what could be done.  Wait is that a trick question?  I said yes I would like that.

Then she called me back later and left a message saying she’d taken care of it and the charge had been removed from my bill.  Woohoo.  I wrote her a little thank you note.

So then I was watching the local news and heard the announcement that Tallhassee Utilities is raising rates eight percent across the board.  Um I guess they’ll be getting my 56 dollars after all.

Shaun said, if I may take the liberty of summarizing, Fireproof does a lot of telling (sermonizing) instead of showing.

The first time I heard the dictum “show, don’t tell” was in my eleventh grade English class.  In that context what our teacher meant was “don’t overuse your omniscient narrator.”  Describe characters by their actions and words, comment on situations by showing their consequences.

I’ve not seen the movie but what I’m assuming Shaun means is that the characters portrayed in the film are given to over-analysis and sermonizing that is unrealistic for who they have been shown to be.  To me that’s less of a problem because it is not a fundamental flaw of the story telling but rather of characterization (like if a pastor gave a sermon we wouldn’t have a problem with it.)  I feel like one can be preachy without messing up their storytelling effort, if the circumstances are right… you have to forgive my over-analysis but I’m a sometimes playwright and amateur dramaturg so I have spent some time thinking about things like this.

Shaun says “Have you ever seen the movie gang member or the mafia guy or the serial killer go to his son and explain his philosophical and moral position on violence in a long chunk of dialogue? Again, heck no.”  But I say that is more a matter of the character’s motivation… if the plot of the story is serial killer dad wants to convince reluctant serial killer son that killing is good I’ll bet there would be some dialogue about it.  Or how about just in real life, my parents do a lot of telling to me.

There is also in my view a difference in saying, “violence is acceptable” versus “violence is good.”  A bunch of movies say, “violence is acceptable.”  It’s a lot harder and uncommon to get a “violence is good” message across.  I think this movie is saying “unconditional love of your wife is good,” a more difficult proposition than say “unconditional love for your wife is sweet when it happens.”   The dad is saying “Please Kirk Cameron(‘s character and also the rest of the world) start acting this certain way all the time.”  That’s his character’s motivation.  I find a movie like The Notebook to be more of the “isn’t it sweet” variety; no one is trying to convince or change each other.  Shaun talked about the filmmakers’ motivation was to motivate the audience to act Jesus-y.  I think there’s the rub… few other movies are trying to motivate anyone to do anything.  Can it be done with more finesse? Definitely, but I think that you’d be hard pressed to find something motivational that isn’t at least a little bit preachy.

So who does write with the “doing this thing is good” message in mind?  Commercial writers.  So in a way I see this movie as a big commercial.  I guess it also could be called propaganda.  And what do I know about commercials? First, some are better than others with better dialog and characterization.  But also… commercials work, they sell things and convince people “candidate X is good.”  Luckily there are more Budweiser purchasers than serial killers.

From the reviews I have read I think most would agree that the insufficiencies of “art” makes the movie a less successful commercial.  But is it bad just for being a commercial? For being Christian propaganda?

Shaun replied to me “A movie is not a commercial.  or at least the audience doesn’t expect it to be.  And so if they get one when what they thought they were getting was a movie, well…”

Yes, most movies are not commercials, they don’t want to make you do anything.  Some do, say Michael Moore documentaries;  I think everyone’s clear they are getting a commercial there.  Most people who go already agree with his slant on things, but I know at least one republican who rethought her gun control postion because of seeing  Bowling for Columbine. …if we only reach one…  Or take Crash, on the other side of the “good art” question, it could be considered an motivational piece don’t you think?  Saying “not being racist is good.”  It’s a bit preachy, but in a good way.

My point is just that if you are making something preachy or telly you probably do have to be twice as good as your commetition who’s offering a take it or leave it message.  But I think that Superbowl commercials prove it’s not impossible to make something both directly motivational and entertaining.

So what did I think of “the Rent movie that doesn’t suck” as one blogger says.  First this is something that producers defiantly need to do again.  I hope they made enough money to justify it.  Tallahassee was a little sparsely attended.  The performances of course are sublime and sounding so much like the original cast by the way.  The crowd noise was fun too as they cheered all the actor’s entrances and most of the songs.  And getting to see the production at the Nerderlander, that’s priceless.  But I hope that they’ll learn from some of the mistakes.

Almost from the beginning it was clear that the camera was right there on the stage because of the extreme close-ups and I later found that this was actually a composite of footage from an earlier performance with the closing night footage.  Well I don’t feel so bad for the live audience, but I then felt a little duped.  I found the camera work frantic at times and the editing to be suspect.  Even in duets the camera would flip back and forth between the actors.  There were these odd close-ups of Rodger and Mimi’s backsides during “Light my Candle.”  I think the one song that I appreciated the in-your-face-ness was “One Song Glory,” a monologue song in spotlight.  But even that was unfortunate for Will Chase the actor playing Roger who is 38 years old.  Not that he’s bad looking he’s just obviously older than his cast mates and is playing a 23 year old(ish) character.  And “Contact” looks like a music video with all of the cuts.

At the end of the show many of the original cast members came on stage for an encore of “Seasons of Love” minus Adam Pascal, Idina Mendzel and Taye Diggs.  Too bad, but we can see Taye on Private Practice every week and Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp will be touring with the show in 2009.  Another thing that I appreciated was the great! sound quality.  It really showed me how much the civic center eats the mix.  You have to turn the sound so high that you miss the subtle things, especially in the songs with counterpoint.  I love actually being able to tell what everyone was saying all of the time.

Over all this reminded me why everyone loves RENT.  I think that lots of people can write a heart breaking song or two, but to have 10 couched in between recitative that actually sounds like words people might say, is emotionally deep, and has a lovely melody.  That takes a special author.  Jonathan Larson was a genius.  Granted there are moments that don’t feel period enough yet to not be a bit clique, but I think that will fade with time.  Man, I got out of the theatre thinking how much I’d like to direct it.  Now I’ll be able to.

It’s not too late to see it; the last showings are Saturday and Sunday at noon.

Here’s to RENT, we were the lucky ones!

I am writing to protest the 56 dollars of connection fees that I am being charged on my utility account that I have had connected with no interruptions for over three years.

Let me take time to explain the situation.  When I moved to Tallahassee four years ago my father was kind enough to activate my utilities in his name and social security number so that the deposit would be waved due to his good credit with his utility company.  But since that day I have received and paid the utility bills with my own money.

Three years ago I moved across town to a new house.  At that point I decided it would be logical to change the name on the account from my father’s to my name.  I called and inquired and was told that I would have to pay a deposit (approximately $250) in order to do that.  That of course was unsatisfactory to me.   So I asked about what would be done if someone had died or gotten a divorce or sublet a house and needed to change a name on an account.  The customer service representative told me that I could add my name to the account and then after two years of good history I could remove my father’s name from the account.  To do this we had to both (my father who lives out of town and I) appear in person at the Renaissance Center.  So we did that and in June of 2005 my name and social security number were added to the account so that in two years I could remove my father’s name.

Earlier this month I happened to be in the Renaissance Center to meet with Gwen Lightfoot about affordable housing issues on behalf of Tallahassee Equality Action Ministry.  I remembered that it had been plenty of time now and I was in the building I could stop by the Customer Service desk and remove my father’s name from my account.   I got to the front of the line and told the representative what I wanted to do I was first told that had to pay a deposit.  But I explained that I had been on the account for over two years had been told that I could now just remove his name outright.  She looked up my account and told me that was okay and she had me fill out a form and show my ID.  I asked “So now my father is off my account?” and was told yes.  At no time during this meeting or during any of the other conversations and meetings three years ago was I told that there would be any charge if I followed the procedure proscribed.  So that is what I did.

Three days ago I received a bill in my name that included 56 dollars combined of “connection fees” for gas, water, and electricity.  Since my utilities had never been disconnected and I was not expecting any charges I called the customer service line and spoke to a representative.  I asked about the charges and she said, “it says that you had one account that was closed and another that was opened.”  So I explained the situation to her and the steps that I had taken.  She then told me that the way I had handled the situation forced them to send a meter reader to my house and that is what the fees were for and that I was lucky because I only had to pay 56 dollars instead of the $250 deposit.

There are two major problems I have with this.  One, I was never told that I would be charged anything.  The bill I received was the first indication. Had I been told about the charges I would not have done it this way.  And second a deposit would be potentially refundable; where as these “connection fees” I will never see again.  And again, nothing was ever disconnected.

I have over four years of good history with Tallahassee Utilities, three of which are under my own name.  I feel like I am being taken advantage of by an unfair and unclear policy that now I see little way out of.   I hope that I will receive satisfaction by getting a bill that reflects the removal of these unfair fees.

Thank you,
Erin K. Thompson

That’s how much money is waiting for me in my account on predictify.com.  It’s a site where you can predict stuff like football winners and the cost of gas and consumer confidence index.  You get money for certain premium questions that people have paid to have asked.  It’s based on accuracy and the time when you predict.  And you get bonuses for overall accuracy across all the questions.  The problem? You get paid when you reach $20 … man almost.

You know how during the coverage they’d cut away to do special interest pieces sometimes about the biography of the athletes sometimes about Beijing?  Well one that I saw was an piece about the reason the athletes do what they do.  They interviewed all sorts of people and to a man they all said they do it for themselves.  That it’s not for the country or the glory or their parents or anything else.  They spend so much time and effort on training and competing and sacrificing only because they want to.

A couple of things that struck me… First their level of achievement was separate from the accolades that they stood to achieve.  And second they were not trying to prove anything.

So I was trying to come up with the things in my life that I approach with this attitude and the things that I don’t.  What have I really worked on to get better at?  Two things I think psychology and theatre.  Both things I really love.  One that I had to work on but mostly comes naturally and one that I still have to work really hard at to make even the barest improvement.

But the issue is that I have approached my psychology career and well most of my academic career with let’s say that anti-Olympic attitude.  I spent all my time trying to prove myself, to my family, to my teachers, to people that I just met.  Prove that I’m smart and special and worthy.  And it was always about accolades and achievements; what’s the next thing you can get?  When I say it, it makes sense why I’d be dissatisfied right?

So I guess what I need to do is decide if I can or I want to change my attitude about it.  To do it just for me.  I still don’t know.

How do I know that.  The potty paper and the book of lists.  When I worked in the counseling center my fellow student assistant and I were in charge of making the potty papers (it’s not as gross as it sounds.)  They were the counseling center’s news letter that got hung in all the campus public restrooms.  You know for some reading material.  So they’d have announcements and info, but they also had interesting information.  Our favorite place to get the fun info was the book of lists.  And one list we used was the list of things that you didn’t know had names.  My favorite word… zarf.  So there you go.

Update: Man that was one bad movie.  I have liked many that critics haven’t like Because I Said So, and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, but this is really bad on so many levels. Besides the bad acting, camera work, and sight gags, I’m like “Tell her you fool.” Stupid.

Can some one tell me who thinks this is a good idea?  Maybe if you are a size 2, otherwise it’s like a bad eighties flashback.

Smart Ones Fruit Inspirations Cranberry Turkey Medallions

Thanks Heat Eat Review

How about some stinking realism?  Anyone?

(AP Photo/Phil Coale)

I went to class (Psychology 101), and things went on as usual.  I got back from class and 50 girls were all siting around watching the coverage on the TV in the lobby.  By that time the plane had hit the pentegon and the commentators began talking about the fact that the towers were going to collapse.  Then it was time for our eleven o’clock classes.  I went but by that time everyone knew and we got released early.  I don’t remember much more from that day, I know we got an email from our psych professor saying that he was sorry but he didn’t know what was going on.  I’m sure that I spoke with my parents, and I think that I spent a lot of the time in the lobby with a bunch of these girls whom I’d just met.

That’s what happenend the fifteenth day that I lived alone, the fifteenth day I was a grown up. The world changed just as mine changed.  So it’s sometimes mixed up in my mind why things are different than they were.  Is it me or the world?  I’ll never know.

Hey Guys, I’m excited that you all are interested in knowing more about TEAM, the ecumenical justice ministry at Saint Paul’s.

The idea behind the ministry is to use our people power to insist on the fair treatment and protection of human rights and civil liberties for the voiceless and powerless.  TEAM is a joint effort of about 20 faith congregations across Tallahassee.  Each year 4 or 5 committees work on the issues that are suggested and voted on by the congregations.  This year we have Health Care, Education, Affordable Housing, and Energy/ Environment.  The committees work for about six months to come up with specific issues that need addressing (things that will have broad support and are winnable.)  And then they work with officials toward solutions.  Then every year at the “Nehemiah Action” all of the congregations gather and the  officials are asked to publicly commit to the solutions that we ask for.

Some examples… the county commission agreed to support health care at the current funding levels despite budget cuts.  The school board and superintendent agreed to pilot two new programs including providing staff for family involvement and alternatives to out of school suspension.  This year I’ve been working on the affordable housing committee to improve and support a rehab program for substandard rental units.

What do we need from you? Come to the rally on September 22. You’ll hear about the issues, have worship together, and get ready for the action.  It starts at 7 and is at Faith Presbyterian (just up the road from us on Meridian.)

And we are asking everyone to bring 3 people with them to the NEHEMIAH ACTION on October 20 at 6:45. This is really the place to turn out numbers to say that we mean business.  It will be at Bradfordville First Baptist (by the Target on North Thomasville Road.  And we are trying to do some carpooling for that.  Parking will be tight for both events so get there nice and early if you don’t come with the group.

Will you consider making a firm commitment to come to these two meeting and to bring people with you in October?  When people say “maybe” and “I’ll try” they usually neglect to follow through.  So we are trying to get a list of who will defiantly be there (or if this is something that you care about and you can’t be there find someone to go in your place.)

I’d be happy to answer any questions that you have or you can check out the website. http://www.teamtally.org/

Let me know if you are coming and I’ll follow up with you in the next few weeks.

The summer after my freshman year of college I went on a mission trip with bunch of friends to Atlanta.  Each day we service work and each evening we’d throw block parties with the help of an organization that ran mini missions for immigrants and refugees in apartment complexes through out the city.  We had our band play and we would feed everyone and we talked to people about Jesus.

On the second day we were with a group of refugees from Chechnya, a region in Russia that saw fighting between the Christian and Muslim ethnic groups.  At the block party I was talking to a young girl; we were sitting on a stoop and looking at a track that I had (that’s another post) that had a picture of Jesus on the cross on it.  The girl looked at me and the picture and said “That’s what they did to my dad.”  Man, that did me in. I was sitting there crying and praying and talking to her.

Just as that was happening another one of our group, J, came around to take pictures and just check on everyone.  I called him over and told him the story and we sat there and talked to the girl.  It was really an amazing and touching experience for all of us.  We came back to the church we were staying at and shared it with our group.

So 4 months went by and then we were back in school together.  One of the first things we did was to have a church service where we share our pictures and stories with people who did not come with us.  J was going to be the big finally.  So he started telling this story about how on the second day he’d met this girl who saw the picture of Jesus and said “that’s what they did to my dad.”  But the funny thing was that I was totally removed from the story.  In his mind it was all him and I wasn’t even there.  Funny, especially since there were pictures that he took of me sitting with the very girl.  So I asked him about it and presented the evidence and he was totally baffled; he completely thought it was just him. Crazy.  My memory got coopted.

I started with a recipe but I changed a number of things.
This is what I did (though I didn’t really measure so it’s approximate)

2 large sweet potatoes peeled and chopped
2 cans black beans drained
3/4 of a large can of tomato puree
1/2 can of Rotel mild tomatoes with green chiles
1.5 cups water
1/2 lb of cooked ground turkey
1 small onion chopped
2 Tbsp Chili Powder
1 Tbsp Garlic Powder
1 Tbsp Black Pepper
2 tsp Dried Thyme
1 tsp Salt
1/2 tsp Paprika
6 dashes of hot sauce
1 Tbsp Newman Lime Dressing (or about 1 tsp each of lime juice, olive oil, and sugar)
1 Tbsp Gourmet Garden Cilantro in a tube (which I think is equal to a dried amount or maybe a few handfuls fresh)

I just put everything in the Crockpot, mixed it up and set it on low. The potatoes were done in about 10 hours (don’t let it go too long or you’ll end up with mashed potatoes)

My problem was that the show was largely a rip off of the original production. I sent so much time thinking about how to make it inovative (particuarly the production design) that I found the choices (or anti-choices) to be pretty lazy. I’m struggling to come up with anything that was not found in the stage directions that didn’t deal with addressing the larger space and taking out the need for a trap door. I guess the only thing was the actors came through the audience about 4 times (not bad because it was used to represent a journey …most of the time. Other wise pretty verbatim from the script and the costuming as well was a copy of the NY production. That’s just boring to me. If it was me I’d want more of my touch on the piece. I doesn’t matter really to the audience who likely is not familiar with the original production, so its a good production that likely will not be criticized. But the committee who selected the directors picked her over me. My proposal was like 12 pages long describing my plan… but hers could be summed up as “I’ll do just what it says in the script.” Whatever. I don’t have enough experience.

I sent another terse email last week asking about how they were going to be providing me with experience that was promised. I wasn’t answered (surprise, surprise.) The ED came up to me and said “we were so busy with Guys and Dolls” (the show that’s been over for about a month) “and we’re still looking for a director for Crimes of the Heart “… blah blah blah, “I promise I’m not ignoring you” (right!)

I don’t know what to think really. They are happy to take my help to stuff envelopes and build set and house manage and run crew but they stone wall me on the things that I really want to do. I guess that’s why some people start their own theater companies. Three more weeks and then I think I’ll go to the board and see what they have to say. It makes me want to hit someone.

These are the first songs that came up on my Itunes shuffle. What does it say about me?

4 songs from musical soundtracks, 3 about running away, 3 referencing illegal activities, 1 from a CD I got in the 6th grade, 2 about undying love, 2 about unrequited love, 3 that I could sing by heart, 1 that I bought because of a friend’s recommendation and probably have listened to it all the way through once, 1 featuring a rocking sax solo, 1 prayer, 1 featuring a rocking coconut shell solo, 2 about gypsies, 4 written before 1964, 1 I consider one of my favorite songs.

I dreamed I was in a big city trying to hail a taxi I was with my friend Becky from college, my friend Shana from grad school, and get this… Hillary Clinton who was still a senator and had run for president, but was inexplicably my age (I think that’s unconstitutional, whatever.) We were on our way to some meeting together and were running really late. We tried a number of times but with no luck. So Shana went to the other side of the street, and left the rest of us to keep trying.

After she left this guy in this like really beat up black car that looked like it had been burned out pulled up to where we were. It was one of our ideas to ask the guy to give us a ride. He was wearing a business suit and looked really agitated. But he said that he would let us ride with him to his meeting a few blocks away and then we could have the car. (Why would he do this? whatever) So we said OK and planned to come back and pickup Shana.

So we got in and started driving. But then we just kept driving and driving. It was getting dark and we were starting to get worried. The guy continued to be agitated and was not talking to us. (I don’t know why it took us that long to get worried, whatever.) We were driving further into the country. Finally the guy pulls over in this field. And he told us that he was doing this because he didn’t like Republicans. I said that’s stupid because we are all Democrats and Hillary even ran for president (whatever.) I wasn’t very scared because the guy didn’t have any sort of weapon and we were in the middle of a field and he was obviously a lunatic. So I told the girls “I think the three of us can take him.”

We were all standing around the car when the guy told Becky that she had to go check the mailbox that was a few feet away. She did and he followed after her. Hillary and I started running away until we saw a set of town houses off in the distance. We started to got toward them and I stopped and said one of us need needed to stay with Becky. (Um, duh… I was obviously the brains of this operation, whatever.) So she turned back and I kept running toward the townhouse. There was one with it’s lights on. I thought my to myself I haven’t run this far since elementary school, but my adrenaline was going so I kept running.

I got there and knocked on the door and no one answered. So I tried the door and it was open. So I went on in and was screaming “hello hello.” This girl came into the room and I told her that my friends and I had been kidnapped and they were with the guy across the other side of the field and could I use the phone. She said sure and there were some security guards outside. I said, “Well, go get them.” So she left and I went to go find the phone.

Well apparently I forgot how to use the phone because I could not manage to dial 911. I finally figured it out that you needed to dial 9 first but I still kept misdialing. I was getting more and more frustrated when the girl came back in and said that my friends were coming. I said that I couldn’t get the phone to work. So she took it and I went outside.

There came Becky and Hillary and one other girl being carried across the field by three men and also some children were walking with them. I was so relieved that I was not weirded-out by “where did this other girl and the children come from?” And the fact that the girls were wearing peach and aqua satin gowns and the children were wearing all white. (Wow, whatever.) So we all walked in the townhouse and… That’s all I remember.

What happened to our lunatic? Was the phone finally bested? What’s up with the matching outfits? And what happened to poor Shana and the meeting we were going to?

Your ending is as good as mine.

Lobstermen who blog.

[ht: CBS Sunday Morning]

I got assigned building a hand rail for the escape steps of the back of a 10 foot set. Our professor Jim told me to use 1 by 4s and cut them down the middle (making 1 by 2s.) For some reason (I can’t really remember why, I guess I thought he was just making a suggestion rather than giving me strict direction) I used 2 by 4s instead. Well I got through ripping down some 12 foot stock when the table saw quick working. I had burned out the motor or something. Boy did I hear about that. Luckily whatever was wrong with the saw was fixable. And after we finished the other side with the one by fours it was a little flimsy and our professor said I might have been right after all.

I also got in trouble once for painting the stair risers too meticulously. I was trying to do a really neat job but I was told the you couldn’t even see the small slip-ups and drips from the audience. I was helping someone who accidentally used the circular saw to cut its own cord. There were lots of sparks.

But I also got some complements. I still remember them. When I leaving one day Jim said, “Erin, you’re getting to be quite a good carpenter.” And I got to be the official jigsaw specialist because I had some sort of natural gift for doing the precise cutting. I got to do a whole car cut out once by projecting a picture on it to trace the edges and then cutting it out. Jim told me that I was better at it than he was.

Jim was a pretty stern guy. And he excepted a lot from all of us. That’s what made the compliments that he gave all the more meaningful because they were hard to earn. And when he said something to you, you knew he really meant it.

That flood on Lake Ella? Well on the other side of the lake from our church are these cute like shops. One of them is the best local shoe store ever. They had the best stuff, trendy but not super expensive. But it got flooded last Saturday, along with 6 other stores. Everyone’s saying that it is the highest that Lake Ella has ever been. Stupid tropical cyclones.

I got an email from them today saying that they will not reopen; that they are selling off all of their stock. I think that it’s sad that we can’t support a local business. Too many chains. And I’m as much to blame with my Payless shoe buying. If business was booming, a flood wouldn’t end the whole thing. She must have been in trouble already.

Do I have to live in big city to have a boutique shoe store? I guess so.

“Sasha, you are supposed to be standing up!”

indexed

My favorite comedy… How I Met Your Mother presents the Hot/Crazy Scale

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/comedy-for-and-by-stats-nerds-like-me/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/lake-ella-flood/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/lake-ella-flood/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:09:02 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=921 ]]>
]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/lake-ella-flood/feed/ 1 Erin Flood 1 Flood 2 Flood 3 Flood 4 Flood 5 Flood 6 Flood 7 Flood 8 Flood 9 http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/abc-must-be-feeling-nostalgic/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/abc-must-be-feeling-nostalgic/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:26:02 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=890 ]]> You know what I hate (well one of the things anyway)? When a show that I really like gets canceled before it’s time. Well ABC has felt my pain and brought back “The Mole” a show that was canceled 6 years ago and now they are bringing back “Cupid” a show that was canceled 10 years ago. I loved it… my parents used to record it for me before the advent of Tivo and even DVDs because it wasn’t one of their favorites. It came on after the remake of “Fantasy Island.” But it was canceled after only one season. They rehired the original writer/creator and everything. But I will miss Jeremy Piven who was so funny. He apparently won’t be returning to the show. It’s a little like “Eli Stone” in the plot department. It’s about a man who thinks that he’s cupid and his therapist who is trying hard to convince him that he’s not even though he is aways involved in people falling in love left and right. Each episode had a new little love story. I’m so excited…

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/abc-must-be-feeling-nostalgic/feed/ 3 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/meta-monday-finding-a-voice/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/meta-monday-finding-a-voice/#comments Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:38:04 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=887 ]]> I’ve been thinking about whether I want to be more intentional about what I write on the blog.  Do I want it to have a more definite theme?  But I think since it’s been mainly an exercise for me so far I’ll just keep it free form.  I’ll be funny if I want to and if I want to vent you all will just have to deal with it.  It’s just me.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/25/meta-monday-finding-a-voice/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/olympic-thoughts/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/olympic-thoughts/#comments Mon, 25 Aug 2008 02:52:06 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=873 ]]> The Olympics are over and I’m sad. What will keep me up until all hours now; I’ll have to find something else. So I thought I’d wrap up with a few thoughts and observations before we forget about it. It’s like Erin’s closing ceremonies.

• The Olympics used to be only for amateur athletes. But as professional sports grew in popularity it became obvious that the Olympians were not the best in the world anymore. Now almost all sports are open to professionals. One notable exception is figure skating in the winter Olympics. I think that they keep it that way because professional (what is popular for people to pay to go see) and amateur figure skating have two different goals. The former is purely to be entertaining while the later is to be as technically and aesthetically proficient as possible. In fact while the main focus of amateur skating is better and more difficult jumping, professional skaters remove difficult jumps they may fail to execute in favor of crowd pleasing dance movement. So the best skater is not always the most entertaining. That’s not the case in other sports. The better technically skilled a basketball player or a swimmer, or even a gymnast is the more likely they are to have professional success.
• Two of Michael Phelps’s gold medals were won by relay teams. Including the second one when there was an amazing come from behind by the anchor swimmer, Jason Lezak, and the final record breaking eighth gold was the medley relay. It takes a team to be the best.
• Jackie Chan was just singing in the closing ceremonies. I wonder if they’ll get Pierce Brosnan to sing at the London Olympics. (Wait I think he’s Irish… but he went to school in London does that count?)
• In synchronized swimming, they do this thing called “deck maneuvers.” They are like dance moves that the teams do before they dive into the water. They are only allowed to spend ten seconds on them and they are not counted in the scoring at all. They kind of remind me of the way we used to do load in for theater competition in high school. We’d practice enough so that we could do it in silence and we’d enter and leave in a single file line. (People thought we were unbelievable pretentious, but I think that they were just jealous.) That certainly was not required and load in was only scored if you took longer than the allowed time and got points deducted. It’s all about making a good impression. If you have it together in the little things you’ll be more likely to have it together in the things that count.
• I have one more but I think I’ll save it for it’s own special post. Let’s keep the party going.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/olympic-thoughts/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/you-can-watch-a-whole-broadway-show-on-my-blog/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/you-can-watch-a-whole-broadway-show-on-my-blog/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:55:04 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=859 ]]> They showed this on the “Live from Lincoln Center” series on PBS in 2006. I recorded it. And when I went to play it it had no sound. That’s not good, particularly for a Broadway musical. And they never played it again or released it on DVD. But today I found it. Enjoy… “The Light in the Piazza.”

I think this marked the beginning of the slow self destruct of my DVD recorder. Which only recently stopped recording DVDs all together. It took two years to die by increments. It still plays DVDs but who knows when that’s going to quit. But today I’m a little less mad at it because I can watch this show.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/you-can-watch-a-whole-broadway-show-on-my-blog/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/not-quite-this-flooded/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/not-quite-this-flooded/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:24:07 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=856 ]]>

But we still canceled our party.  Apparently Lake Ella is over flowing.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/not-quite-this-flooded/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/the-better-to-spike-the-ball-with/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/the-better-to-spike-the-ball-with/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:43:54 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=846 ]]> I was watching the men’s indoor volleyball last night. US vs. Russia. The Russian team’s average height is 6’7″… That’s really tall. But you know what I noticed when everyone on the court is that tall the individuals don’t seem that tall. It’s kind of like the opposite of this picture. Doesn’t Lebron James look like a giant? Heck we got to told like a hundred times that Michael Phelps is 6’4″.

The match ended up a real nail bitter too. The US won 15-13 in the tie breaking set. Now on to the gold medal match.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/the-better-to-spike-the-ball-with/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/teachable-changeable-flexible/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/teachable-changeable-flexible/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:10:13 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=835 ]]> There was recently an article in Slate magazine about franchising churches. It’s caused a lot of controversy over the wisdom of having figurehead pastors and huge churches. I’ve been reading stuff from mega church pastors and attenders as well as some people who have problems with any sort of “formalized, in a building, with paid staff” kind of church. It really makes me think. And when I do comment I usually do some defending of formalized structure provided by denominations (like offering national connection, providing things like health insurance to pastors and legal counsel to congregations) and medium size congregations (offering diversity of relationships as well as opportunities for small groups with like interests.) Anybody want to take a guess about what type of church I attend?

But here’s what I think it comes down to… the how is not nearly as important as the what. I think there’s much more consensus on what a healthy church should be achieving (members who display the fruits of the spirit, sacrificial giving, authentic worship) than the specifics on how it gets there. Because frankly there are a million ways and you know if somebody had it down perfect, heck I’d be there, but imperfect people form imperfect churches. So what to do? How do we get better?

Do you know how they train dolphins to do all those cool flips and stuff? It’s a conditioning technique called “shaping” or “reward for successive approximation.” The dolphin would not just do a flip all on it’s own one day you have to teach it how. So the first day the goal is to get the dolphin to touch its nose to the end of a stick. The trainer has a ton of treats and whenever the dolphin comes over the trainer puts out the stick and gives the dolphin a treat (probably some slimy fish eww.) Dolphin now thinks stick=treat… we are on the right track here. So now the dolphin swims over and the trainer touches the stick to the dolphin’s nose, he get a treat… great pretty soon he’ll be touching stick on his own (got to have that slimy fish.) Goal one down. But the next day the trainer mixes it up a bit and has the stick out of the water so the dolphin has to raise up a little to get the treat. And no more rewarding for touches in the water. Slowly the trainer will add harder elements of the behavior (like actually flipping) and remove excess things (like the stick) until they have the desired result. Now different trainers might have different techniques, some use a red stick some use blue, some use sardines, others use guppies. But what do they have in common? Patience and evaluation.

It takes a long time and many tries to get what you really want, sometimes you fall short. And evaluation, the trainer has to look at what the dolphin did and say treat or no treat, close enough or way off. Are we moving toward our goal (the “what”) or not? I think we miss that piece in churches too often. We look and look for the perfect “how” and neglect the “what.”

I was recently on a young adult retreat and the leader wanted us to discuss while we were all there and captive, whether we wanted to start meeting in our small group every week instead of just every other week. We had opinions on both sides and kept going back and forth each making valid points. Until someone said “why don’t we just try it for a few months, and if it doesn’t work we can always go back.” Eureka. Try something new and make an evaluation. Are we moving toward our goal or not?

One big but… for this to work you have to be willing to change, to go back and to move forward. There’s no way around that fact. No matter who fights you on it. Bold chances and honest evaluation have to become part of the ethos of all ministry. We have to be willing to be shaped.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/teachable-changeable-flexible/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/its-not-my-line/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/its-not-my-line/#comments Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:43:56 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=828 ]]> My head is swimming with improv games for next Saturday. How about a preview?

First Lines
Family Portraits
Only Questions
Sad Solemn Occasion
Ugly Advice
Interview
Trivial Pursuit
Famous Last Words
Ding
Number of Words
Name 6
The Dating Game
Props

Also I full out sang the Oscar Mayer Bologna Song in all three church services…That’s right for all of the blue hairs and everyone. And I was wearing a puffy hot pink and leopard print crown. This is what I do for my ministry.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/its-not-my-line/feed/ 1 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/im-magic-too/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/im-magic-too/#comments Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:00:34 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=787 ]]> For Molly…

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/im-magic-too/feed/ 1 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/this-ones-mine/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/this-ones-mine/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:55:34 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=798 ]]>

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/this-ones-mine/feed/ 1 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/meta-monday-family-theme-nights/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/meta-monday-family-theme-nights/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:41:30 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=803 ]]> Here’s the background information… I got into the blogging thing from reading Christian blogs. Most of these blogs were written by men in full time ministry. Most of the commenters on the blogs that I read are women. Then I started writing my own blog and got introduced to the crazy world of stat tracking and authority, and my favorite… google reader. This allows me look at as many blogs as I want in just one place. It allows me to be much less picky about the blogs I read and I have found many new ones that I like to read.

Among these new blogs that I’ve been reading are the previously mentioned commenters. I have also since found out that something like 75 percent of blogs are written by women. And many of these are mothers who usually write about there kids (among other things.) I think that it’s kind of like the scrapbooking craze… Mom’s just like to document stuff their kids do and stuff that they do for their kids.

So… now I get down to what I really was going to say. I have this aversion to reading about family theme nights. Not a blogging mom, mommy blog reader, husband of a blogging mom, or perhaps just a woman who was ahead of her time? Let me just fill you in. A family theme night is pretty much what it sounds like. Once a month the mom comes up with a theme that she can plan a whole evening of family entertainment for her husband and small children around. Absolutely imperative is themed food, decorations, and at least three games. Extra points if costumes are involved. And you also must spend less than thirty dollars on it. Then in you write your blog post about it including lots of pictures of your dinosaur shaped sandwiches and digging for dinosaur bones in the sand box. That way the other moms can read about it and have ideas for next month’s family theme night.

So join me on my self diagnosis couch. Erin what is your deal? Why does reading about these things make you mad? Here’s what I know about myself. If I had a husband and young children I would be all over family theme nights. I love themes and uber-coordination, and I do a lot of stuff that’s like the cousin of family theme night. Those who have seen my office can attest. And I love a good theme party. Heck, I just finished doing a brochure that has all these cute little ducklings on it for the church children’s ministry because of the imagery of the mother ducks and also our church is right on a lake. It’s like coordinating/theme nirvana. So maybe it’s jealousy? Definitely could be.

But also, you know how they say often the faults you see in others are ones that you possess yourself. So before I say this I know it’s my issue first. Doesn’t it all seem a little self obsessed? Who’s it for? The husbands I’m sure could care less and the preschoolers are not even going to remember. It’s like a way to be in control. I find it easy to critique these women and say can’t they find something better to do with their time. So maybe I need to address my control freak issues? Definitely could be.

And finally even if these things are absolutely free they are like the definition of ostentation. I think we in the US (me too like I said it’s my issues) need to learn to live more simply. The same people who write about humanitarian disaster, turn around write about their laptop. Do I need to give more and take less? Definately could be.

]]> http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/meta-monday-family-theme-nights/feed/ 0 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/ug-an-afternoon-photo-essay/ http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/2008/08/17/ug-an-afternoon-photo-essay/#comments Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:26:20 +0000 Erin http://thismustbe.wordpress.com/?p=773 ]]>

The fruit growing on the world's tallest weed